Purvs' Outlet

Inspiration Unexpected

2012-02-01T12:25:00.002+05:30

On Sunday, I met with a woman called Urmi. Her life story is worth capturing in a book. Urmi lives in the US and has a son who is incredibly gifted. He is sixteen years old and is in college. When he was two years old, he read a note written by his teacher, addressed to a parent. Not only did he read the note but was able to convince his friend not to show the note to his mom. His teachers, instead of being amazed at this ability of a two year old, in typical fashion, called Urmi and complained to her. That was the beginning. Urmi told me how much she struggled with finding a school for her son that would challenge his intellect and nurture his curiosity. She literally moved her family across the United States to Denver and later Pittsburgh in her quest to find the right school. Her cousin, who is a good friend of mine told me what Urmi didn't. She told me of her frustration, her tears, her fight against the system to ensure the best education for her son. In the end, she decided to home school her son. I cannot adequately describe here the commitment and immense responsibility that a parent takes on when they decide to home school their child. She obviously did an amazing job. I was lucky to meet her and hear her story. A passionate proponent of deschooling and also de-colleging, it was inspiring to meet someone who wants to change the entire discourse in education and disrupt all existing paradigms. Like i said, this is the stuff one reads about :)

On Monday, I attended a discussion organized by Dasra for their Indian Philanthropic Forum. On this panel was Peggy Dulany. Ms. Dulany is a philanthropist and daughter of David Rockefeller. Peggy talked about her organization, Synergos and their vision for strategic philanthropy across the world. She was an excellent speaker and offered a unique perspective on bringing about change. One comment that I particularly appreciated was her opinion on the function of NGOs as being that of working with their communities in ways that empower them to hold their local government authorities accountable! How true. At Abhyudaya Nagar, our attempt was always to educate the parents as much as we could about their rights so that when the day arrived for us to leave, they would be empowered to take control of the situation. I could not agree with this perspective more!

And now for the cherry on top! Yesterday, I attended a lecture by Dr. Howard Gardner. For someone in the finance world, its equivalent to meeting Warren Buffet or perhaps Sachin Tendulkar for a sportsman, as our superintendent put it. I do not remember the last time I left any place this inspired. Maybe when I met Mr. Yogendra from Bodh or Mr. Rohit Dhankar from Digantar. And the funny thing is how similar these three men are with respect to their philosophy of education. But anyway, this post is about what I remember from Professor Gardner's lecture.

Its ironic how the 'solution' to help students who do not achieve highly on standardized tests is to test them more.
Its absurd that any student should be assessed by an external testing agency who knows nothing about that student, who will never meet him or his teacher, who will generate the test and assess results in isolation and then simply inform the teacher of how capable or incapable a student is and how much he has 'achieved' with little or no direction on what to do next.
The next century will be marked by four mega trends that all educators should be aware of and engage themselves in understanding better if they want to prepare students ready to thrive in the new world- globalization, a biological revolution in our understanding of how the brain works, a digital era and finally, learning how to learn. Dr. Gardner was categorical in his rejection of rote learning, decontextulized, standardized testing and exclusion of social media from the classroom.
The function of K-12 schooling in his view, is to help children develop disciplined (and sometimes, counter-intuitive) ways of thinking in math, science, art and history (after they have attained basic literacy) with the purpose of creating ethical workers and citizens.
It is as important to cultivate a respectful and ethical mind as it is to cultivate a disciplined, synthesizing or creative mind (referring to his book).
Not marks, but character is what creates human beings who transform the world. He felt that there aren't enough good role models for students today and it is difficult for them to even identify someone they admire.
He said that if there was only one book that he could recommend for all his students, he would make that one Gandhiji's Experiments with Truth.

He said a lot more that would take up entire blogs. But one can read all of that in his books. Enough to say that I walked out feeling very, very inspired, validated and excited. I think it is significant that he came to India and I think it is important- the things he said. Not because of what he said but because HE said them.

Thank You For The Music

2012-01-25T13:40:00.004+05:30

I LOVE Music.And I am not biased towards any one genre. It mostly depends on my mood but my playlist consists of anyone from Etta Jones to Metallica to Mumford and Sons...

When I was in school, I participated in a musical extravaganza. I was chosen to be part of the choir but then at the last minute, I switched to join the dancers - something else I love. My school did not have a great music program but I remember my music teacher fondly. I was also lucky that my mum let me take music class. I learned how to play the harmonium and the guitar. Although I am terrible at both, I think that the initial training has left me a musical ear. I can at least pick up a tune and play it quite easily on an organ or change unknown chords to known ones on a different scale on my guitar. When i sing, I sound okay, not bad :)

Today, I attended our middle school assembly. MS is sixth-eighth grade and they had put together a concert for their teachers and parents. First, let me share some videos. Please excuse the quality since I took them with my phone. you may want to turn up your volume.

Video 1: Sixth Grade Choir

Video 2: Seventh Grade Choir

Video 3: Eighth Grade Choir

Video 4: Seventh Grade Band

I was smiling the entire 40 minutes that I was in the hall. The kids were actually REALLY good although you can't probably tell in these videos. I was particularly impressed with the sixth graders who were introduced to these instruments for the first time barely six months ago.

I was envious that these students had such great music teachers and couldn't help but think of my own ex-students and how deprived they are!! Singing in a choir or playing in a band teaches you so much more than just music. It teaches you to work together, to adjust your own pitch or tempo in order to create harmony. It teaches you the importance of practice and patience.

In spite of my exposure to music in my younger years, I still had to look up the following instruments in order to correctly identify them: trumpet, oboe, saxophone, trombone, tuba, clarinet...phew

So i say....

Thank you for the music, the songs i'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, i ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So i say thank you for the music
For giving it to me
- Abba

Status Updates

2012-01-24T12:24:00.000+05:30

In the past two weeks, I have been so tempted to update my status. Here are some updates one would have seen if my account were still active

I got a seat through our internal lottery to attend Howard Gardner's lecture!!! Yippee!!
I am really looking forward to meeting Serenity next week :)
Even at a fantastic school like this one, I am disappointed by attitude of a few teachers towards their students
Rigour is the THE MOST misunderstood term in education
I feel guilty about something I did and want to apologize to my friend and colleague but am unable to get a hold of her. Its aggravating to think that she may be upset with me!
I have no idea when my friends' birthdays are and with no FB to remind me, I am in for some trouble... (this is a paradox..hmmm)
MUST START WORKING OUT!!!!
When, oh when, will my passport arrive?

Some of these would have generated a few comments and I could have had a virtual conversation about any of these topics- e.g. on how different people define rigour and what that means to them. Or what makes a fantastic teacher.

I miss that about FB. Those online discussions and hearing my friends' perspectives on things.

Emotional Intelligence Anyone?

2012-01-13T15:32:00.001+05:30

I had not planned on posting twice today and certainly not about something that I promised myself I wouldn't care about...but in the last ten minutes I received an sms that has upset me quite a bit.

I want to start with something I read today. I am posting it here verbatim.

Apparently, there are five levels of conflict in a team:

Level 1: Problem Solving

This is the level at which most conflictsin a well-meshed team are solved. The parties concerned recognize that there isa problem, they discuss it, come to an understanding and move on. There istrust, communication, and a shared need to solve the problem. All concernedbelieve that a solution can be worked out. Level 1 is about constructivedifferences, and is good for organisational performance.

Level 2:Disagreement

Conflict that is unresolved at Level 1tends to move up to Level 2 - disagreement and discord. Parties are stillcapable of resolving the conflict by themselves, but distrust creeps in. Thereis talk of “right” and “wrong”, and it becomes difficult to define the problemclearly. Action is based on assumptions rather than fact. Sometimes, there is aperceived need to protect oneself.

Level 3:Contest to Win

At Level 3, emotions come strongly intoplay. Now it is more about winning and losing, and taking sides. Typical signsinclude distortion of facts, and personal attacks on people. The conflictbegins to get unhealthy, with fear, blame and distrust gaining ground. Thislevel of conflict requires de-escalation, with a leader stepping in to create asafe environment for people to restart the process of problem-solving.

Level 4: Fight or Flight

At Level4, people begin to act in more aggressive ways. There is a complete breakdownof communication and trust between the parties. Factions are often formed, andthe focus is on getting the other party out. Blame and wild assumptions runhigh. At this stage, people who avoid conflict tend to leave the organisationor the concerned sphere of work.

Level 5:War

At Level5, the parties are on dangerous ground. Resolution of conflict is difficult, ifnot impossible. Personalities have become the focus. Winning is no longerenough – the other side has to lose. Emotions run so high that everyone haslost sight of the issue. The conflict is now unmanageable.

And sometimes there is a Level 0: Underground

Sometimes,it is also possible to identify a Level Zero, where the conflict is depressedor has actually gone underground. An uneasy calm prevails on the surface andthere is superficial agreement between parties. This is actually a frozen anddysfunctional level of conflict, and needs to be brought up to Level 1 to bedealt with.

______________________

An organization that I care very deeply about is currently at Level 4 and it saddens me so much. There is one group of 'leaders' who will leave no stone upturned in trying to demoralize or blame those who either (1) have a different perspective than them or (2) raise difficult questions about accountability or methodology. This second group of people are made to feel (in their own words) ,"inferior" "alone" "frustrated" What has happened as a result of this conflict is that several people have left or will leave soon.

I read here that: Beyond a point, an employee's primary need has less to do with money, and more to do with how he's treated and how valued he feels.

Sounds like common sense to me. So why is it so hard for some people to understand? How is it possible that these are the people that have risen in power when there are SO many more qualified, more deserving and most importantly more emotionally intelligent employees in the organization? Particularly when they have sat through sessions of how important it is to have a high emotional quotient to be a great leader. It fascinates me, angers me and sometimes, in spite of myself, really upsets me.

Daniel Goleman quotes: If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.

Seems like he is wrong, isn't it?

Syndrome

2012-01-13T13:07:00.005+05:30

So I deactivated my Facebook account. I haven't actually deleted it. As of January 10th 2012, i am no longer active on Facebook. I am trying this is an experiment. I honestly think I was suffering from Social Networking Syndrome. I was posting rather inane and irrelevant status updates, with my new phone, posting pictures of completely random things like strawberries and constantly checking my profile on my phone to see if anyone had commented.

I mean, would my purchase of high heels be any less significant if the world did not know about them? Or would my vacation seem less exciting if all my friends did not see my pictures? Obviously not! I think there is another syndrome. I am calling it the Social Validation Syndrome. I am a confident person with high self esteem. I have not needed validation from anyone regarding this. However, on fb, I realized that I actually craved for this. I wanted to know how many of my friends liked my update or commented on my photos. I was actually disappointed if no one did! How terrible!

I am not sure how long this deactivated status will last. I hope for a while. It has not been easy, believe it or not. Over the past three days, I have been tempted more than once during the day to go and post something- about an incident that occurred at school, or how cute I thought my friend's twins were, or about my frustration at someone who I can only refer to as "Doofus." Its taken some will power to NOT post. Funny!

I wonder how long before the he loss of some of the benefits of fb (and there are a few) begin to outweigh the disadvantages of suffering from all these syndromes!

My Fav Bollywood Songs of 2011

2012-01-02T23:34:00.001+05:30

The best ads of 2011

2012-01-02T23:11:00.000+05:30

Aaj ka taapmaan

2011-12-10T19:47:00.001+05:30

Figuratively speaking - lukewarm

And literally speaking, I am so over this weather!

The Dirty Picture

2011-12-06T20:17:00.001+05:30

Probably like many others, I searched for Silk Smitha on youtube after watching The Dirty Picture.

I found this video. Now compare it to this one. Particularly around 1:04.I say Ekta Kapoor has done a darn good job!

Surprise # 1. Is Naseerudin Shah portraying Kamal Hassan??

I liked the movie. It was almost empowering. Now I did not know who SS was before I heard of The Dirty Picture but if she was anything like what they portrayed in the movie, then more power to her !

And more power to Vidya Balan. Can you imagine the Priyanka Chopras, Katrinas and Kareenas of Bollywood to take on such a meaty role? No way! This movie was owned by Vidya Balan amidst three male stars. More empowerment for the Hindi film actress.

Its worth a watch even if just to celebrate the first time that an actress has played a female character that is unapologetic about who she is and morally secure enough to do as she (and all the men in the industry) damn well pleases.

After Shootout at Lokhandwala and LSD, another round goes to Balaji!

Ooh la la

And then... there were none

2011-11-26T00:00:00.000+05:30

There were a few of us- a handful of teachers, one admin and one social worker. We had three classrooms and an office. Actually, we didn't even have an office for a few months if I remember right. We worked hard, sweated a lot, planned, designed, brainstormed, debated, learned, grew and created something special.

We knew every single student, every single parent, every single home.

Then, we added a few more- a few more special teachers, a few more helpers, a new social worker, new students. We still knew them all. There were enough of us who cared. Enough of us who took an interest. Enough of us who were not driven by numbers but rather by the minor successes of kids.

We did some things that went beyond the normal duties of such an institution. We had opposition. We visited the police station, the hospital... we faced threats, stitches, political pressure. But still, we stood there. A strong team.

Today, there are some. They buy new toys, create new rules, maintain greater order, introduce better systems.

But today, there are none. None who will wonder why she hasn't come to school for two weeks. None who will intervene in 'family issues.' None who will administer breakfast and medication every single day as prescribed. None who will not think twice before choosing art over 'GK', rigour over tests, stories over numbers.

Rockstar Review

2011-11-19T21:27:00.000+05:30

I saw Rockstar last night. My first reaction as I walked out of the theater was that I don't know how I felt about the movie. The film itself- as whole package was disappointing but individual elements were really good. Like the editing. Its so nice to see a Hindi film that is not absolutely linear and expects the audience to follow without any overdrawn explanation. Its nice to not be treated as a dimwit. LOVED the editing. Its also refreshing to see a Bollywood film that is more character- than plot-driven and kudos to Ranbir Kapoor for taking on the challenge successfully despite the desperate attempt to introduce some kind of silly plot in the second half. I really thought the movie had potential until the interval. I enjoyed the music too, not to mention the ease with which Heer decides to go ahead and have her affair with Jordan once she realizes she is dying. To hell with the moral dilemma she faced earlier :D Love that!

Yet, as Niraj mentioned, there was something missing throughout. I guess it wasn't convincing. I wasn't convinced that Janardan really wanted to be a rock star. I did not understand why he was thrown out of the house or why they would suspect him of stealing money. The nuances of his relationship with his family were ambiguous. Then I wasn't convinced why he felt so angry all the time. I wish the script were tighter. And I wish they focused more on developing his character because I definitely wanted to know more about Jordan.

Good attempt but not too successful. This critic gives Rockstar 3 out of 5 for trying something different.

Conversation

2011-10-14T15:05:00.001+05:30

Today, I was waiting my turn to use one of loos on the first floor. All three stalls were occupied by three KG girls changing their clothes. They were having the following marvelous conversation at the top of their voices as I waited patiently listening to them.

Stall 1: I am not scared of cockroaches. They are so small, we can stamp on them.

Stall 3: Oh no! They are disgusting. They are all orange and red and so they are disgusting

Stall1: That means they are poisonous.

Stall 3: They can bite you because they have sharp teeth

Stall 1: I know that! If they are all red then they are poisonous.

Stall 2: There is no such thing as cockroaches!

hehe

Sad Joy

2011-10-13T16:02:00.000+05:30

Once upon a time, lived Joy. When Joy was born, her three fairy godmothers came to bless her. The first one blessed her with the knowledge of her heart's true passion. The second one blessed her with the acumen and intelligence to fulfill that dream some day and the third fairy godmother blessed her with the integrity to follow the right path to that fulfillment.

What no one knew was that the wicked witch who felt humiliated at not being invited to bless Joy, secretly lay a curse on her. The curse was that Joy would be compelled to live her life only by her godmothers' blessings.

As Joy grew up, she found that everything else other than her heart's desire felt mundane and pointless. When she could not do what she was born to do, she felt hollow. When she was faced with choices that she felt compromised her integrity, she was torn in conflict... yet, compelled as she was, she always had to make choices that broke her heart. Her knowledge became irrelevant when challenged by authority that she had no power to overturn. She became a helpless bystander in a world that she was born to change.

Then one day, as she sat listlessly, pulling strands of grass out of the ground, she saw a chameleon. Now grey, now brown, now greenish. Strange creature, this chameleon. Why would it want to change itself? Silly creature.

Silly Joy.
Sad Joy.

Today's list of (no)things

2011-10-11T16:16:00.000+05:30

long dull day

no meetings
no deliverables
no reading
tick tock tick tock went the clock

yoga, something to look forward to

Characteristics of Highly Successful Middle Schools

2011-10-07T15:50:00.001+05:30

I’ve been reading an article called “The Status of Programs and Practices in America’s Middle Schools: Results From Two National Studies” It compares 827 public middle schools (grades 5-8) to understand what differentiates HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL MIDDLE SCHOOLS from not so successful ones and its VERRRY interesting.

Recommendations:

1. Interdisciplinary team organization should be implemented in the middle grades of all schools that include young adolescents. All teachers serving on teams should be provided at least one daily common planning period.

2. All schools with middle level students should adopt some form of flexible scheduling. The highest priorities of the schedule should be providing blocks of instructional time and daily common planning times for teams of core teachers (Language, math, science and SS).

3. All schools that serve young adolescents should place a major emphasis on the core subjects of language arts/reading, science, mathematics, and social studies. Significant portions of each instructional day should be devoted to these subjects while ensuring other developmentally appropriate experiences are included. A rich selection of required non-core and elective subjects should be part of the curriculum. A focus on the components of global education should be infused throughout the curriculum.

4. Carefully planned student advisory programs should be a high priority component of all middle level programs and schools. Advisory groups should meet at least twice per week, and the advisory curriculum should be carefully planned, articulated, implemented, and evaluated. All teacher advisors and other professional personnel should be provided ongoing professional development regarding effective advisory programs and be held responsible for their success.

5. Effective research-based instruction in core and non-core subjects should be a top priority in all middle level schools. The developmental learning characteristics of young adolescents should serve as a basis for selecting instructional strategies. Efforts to move away from over-reliance on wholeclass instructional strategies should be initiated, with more emphasis being placed on cooperative learning, inquiry learning, and other strategies for involving young adolescents in their own learning.

6. Schools should carefully select instructional grouping plans and be careful to avoid an over-reliance on tracking. Middle level educators should “work deliberately to reduce disparities in educational attainment by adopting open and fair student assignment practices. When students are grouped and regrouped for instruction, the assignment should be temporary and based on diagnosed needs, interests, and talents of students, not on a single achievement test” (This one is particularly interesting)

7. Comprehensive and ongoing professional development should provide teachers and other school personnel with a knowledge base that focuses on young adolescent development, middle level curriculum, middle level instruction and assessment, effective middle level programs and practices, and other key topics.

Inquiring about Inquiry

2011-10-04T14:52:00.000+05:30

Friday was PD day at ASB. I spend the morning attending a typical session by outside consultants on Inquiry. While the session itself was okay, the conversation at our table was simply fabulous! The most interesting piece was about what isn't inquiry.

Inquiry is NOT:
A sanctioned set of questions
A formula
Always in interrogative form
A teacher-pleasing exercise
The same for everyone
A step-by-step strategy
Available in a teachers' manual
Predictable
Unintentional
A specific 'period'

___
The more I sit through conversations with different educators, the more I am convinced of the following-
There is no one right way to teach but there is definitely a wrong way!

In my world view, the most correct way to teach is experiential. It just makes common sense and I don't really need any research to tell me that, although it helps that almost all of the current literature out there supports this! An inquiry-based pedagogy shows yu a great way to organize your curriculum and your instruction. However, there are some things one will have to compromise with this methodology:

A misunderstood sense of urgency
Archaic notions of classroom management and 'discipline'
Silence
Your identity as 'the expert'
An unnecessary focus on 'literacy'

One can replace the word inquiry with almost any other similar pedagogy-experiential, PBL, social-constructivism, authentic investigation..... there is enough jargon out there for an entirely different blog. For me all of these are primarily focused on the process of learning and involve on-going critical reflection on the part of both students and teachers. If done right, there is no question that outcomes will be met and students will become better thinkers and life-long learners.

Math Fundas

2011-09-14T15:58:00.001+05:30

I recently sent out an email to some old colleagues reiterating my thoughts on math education. I am listing them here:

1. Every concept in math should go from concrete to abstract. This means using manipulatives (doing) ---> representation (seeing) ---> abstract (symbolic). There is no upper limit to using manipulatives. You can even use them in 8th grade!!

2. FIFTY PERCENT of time up to 4th standard should be spend on building number sense!!

3. Research shows that if foundations up to 4th grade are not in place, there is a high possibility of students being in remedial math for the rest of their schooling!

4. Math is progressive which means that you cannot learn concept Y unless you have concept X in place. Different children will learn concept X at different times. If your 3rd standard student does not understand place value of tens and units THERE IS NO POINT IN MOVING to hundreds for that child. If you moved to double digit addition without ENSURING that place value is understood, the child will attain procedural fluency but not conceptual clarity. Each child needs to be taught at his /her own pace and you will have to teach him multiple strategies because you do not know which one will make sense to that child.

5. Math teaching is about enrichment/enhancement and NOT acceleration. For example, international standards say that in first grade kids only work with numbers up to 20. You can do multiple things with these numbers - like regrouping, subsitization, one to one correspondence, etc. If the child demonstrates a good number sense up to 20, the idea is NOT to move to 50 (that is acceleration) but to continue building a deeper understanding (enriching or enhancing) of number sense up to 20 through problem solving. If a child is a master of addition without carry over, it does not mean you should immediately move to carry over addition but continue enhancing his understanding of addition through problem solving.

6. Children memorize math facts by doing memorable activities. Not by rote.

7. Give children a map versus a direction. The analogy is simple, if I have very clear INSTRUCTIONS on how to get to some place and if I miss even one of those steps, I will get lost. BUT if I have a map, I can find my own way even if I am lost. We focus all of our energies on teaching child the procedure of how to "do sums" but really what we should be giving them is strategies on how to problem solve. THAT is the essence of math!

Je ne parle pas Anglais

2011-08-29T11:20:00.000+05:30

Today, I had the opportunity to teach 6th grade science class because the teacher was sick. It was a small class but there was one kid who spoke and read NO ENGLISH. All he understood was French. Now, his partner was helping and he had a translation software with him but still... how do you teach someone 6th grade science if they do not speak even a word of the medium of instruction?

Change French to Hindi or Marathi and you have a different context but the same problem facing so many teachers teaching in English medium public and low cost private schools across India.

Happy

2011-08-02T14:37:00.000+05:30

I have been busy at the new school orientation for the past week. For those who don't know (of the seven people who read this blog), I started working part time at The American School of Bombay.

The school is as different from Abhyudaya Nagar as water is from wood. It is supposedly the second most expensive American School in the world after London. It is EONS ahead of any other international school in terms of technology integration. I cannot even BEGIN to describe how technologically integrated the school is. Probably, the only place where they use paper is in art class and to have new employees sign contracts! Every single teacher has teaching experience in at least two different countries. I met one high school math teacher today who has taught in Saudi Arabia, Moscow, Singapore, US and now here. My immediate supervisor has been principal of schools in five different countries! The bathrooms smell wonderful....

But that is not the reason I'm happy.

Through this week, I have been attending as many meetings as possible. Most of them are not even for me. But I still attend them anyway to understand the culture and pedagogy of the school. So I sat in for meetings on assessments, school structure, PD, etc. And THAT is the reason I am happy. Actually, two reasons:

1. EVERYTHING that I was trying to do at Abhyuadaya Nagar was bang on! Everything! From the way we organized our schedule, giving play time to kids, the integrated curriculum we were working on, the pedagogy in math and science, NOT making English compulsory for kids to speak in, moving more towards reflection instead of rewards and consequences, our stance on PD, bringing in art based therapy...every single decision that I ever took in the past three years has been validated after coming here. In fact, I think we were even doing some things that they don't do at ASB- like the production unit. Its not like I needed the validation. If I had doubted the decisions I was making, I wouldn't have left. Still, as petty and shallow as this sounds I just feel a bit vindicated and also a bit smug. What a loss to Akanksha!

2. The second reason that I am so happy is that I am now in a space where I have sooooo much more to learn. Every single person here is incredibly smart, has so much experience and is very, very committed. But more than that, my supervisor is the assistant superintendent in charge of teaching and learning. I mean, could I have asked for someone better positioned to work under to teach me more about education? The discourse in the school is intellectually stimulating and I find myself feeling outdated and inadequate in terms of myown ideas. Its refreshing!

I am sure there are many issues that will come up in the future and I am in the romantic phase probably. But I want to capture this feeling now because I want to come back and read this blog when I am in one of my slumps- as they said at the orientation will happen at ASB.
_____________
Also, I went to visit the community yesterday. I had a looong trail of kids following me around and then all thirty of us piled into Chaaya didi's house and created a racket! I miss the kids and it really uplifted my spirit to be with them and hug them and kiss them and make fun of them :)

I am also happy because of that :)
______________

Fini

2011-07-20T13:38:00.001+05:30

I was so very excited to go to school today. Mandira calls me regularly once a week or more sometimes. I don't pick up the phone 9 out of 10 times because I know she will ask me, "didi when are you coming to meet us?" A month after school has started, I thought, "Okay... I guess its okay for me to go now and meet the kids." In fact, the purpose of going was more to collect all my data and old files. After I leave home and am about half way there, Dinesh calls to say he is not in school. "Do I turn back or go ahead and meet the kids anyway?" I thought, I'd go and see them.

How utterly silly of me to think that it would be fine if I went and saw the kids in class. How naive of me to not think for even a fraction of a moment that I may not be welcome in the school because I am viewed as a threat. How could I so easily forget that while I should trust everyone else's intentions behind what they say, MY intentions will always be doubted? How could I have not predicted the irony that while I was asked to change my 'aggressive' and insensitive ways, it was completely fine to not care about how I might feel when I was asked that could I please not come to school today because I might unsettle the blossoming relationship n the new team?

Its my own stupidity that has caused me to feel this hurt today. More hurt than I have felt about anything else that happened in the past few months. I am trying to let everything go. I am trying to find avenues to work with Akanksha again. For what? For being told that I should come to school after a few months and only during lunch if I wanted to see kids? For being made to feel like shit because of someone else's insecurity?

Well, screw it all. I am really, really hurt by what happened today and I refuse to put myself through that again.

This is the end.

Kaboom

2011-07-14T01:21:00.000+05:30

There were three bomb blasts in Mumbai today. Yes, one of them was at Kabootar Khana, where my mom could've been passing through on her way to buy veggies. Yes, I was driving through Opera House about half an hour before the blast there. Or my dad could have been driving through a few minutes before or after the blast there, on his way home from work

The fact is that Mumbai is not a very big city in terms of who could have been where at what time when there is a bomb blast. We all know someone who lives or works somewhere near these and future blast sites. Yes, the phones were jammed and I did try to get through to my parents once or twice before I gave up and decided to focus on not killing anyone while trying to text and drive at the same time. Do I not care about my family and friends? Or am I just so used to these situations now? I see the outrage and concern on Facebook from my friends not living in Mumbai. Between the two cell phones and our land line, the ringing was incessant. 90% of the calls from out of Mumbai.

Whats up Mumbaikars? Are we apathetic now? Me included? I feel neither rage, nor concern. I feel slightly disgusted. Thats all. I do attribute this to being closer to home. When I see the many really angry messages on FB, mostly from friends living overseas, its hard not to wonder if its something very personal that they're angry about rather than the actual situation. Perhaps the guilt of leaving their families here? Or could it be a vicarious opportunity to feel connected to a city that is not longer theirs? The greater the distance between the tragedy and oneself, the stronger the emotional reaction- is that how it works?

If there was bomb blast in Queens today, I would be very, very worried. Probably more than if there was a bomb blast in Vile Parle. That has nothing to do with me loving my family in NYC more than here in Mumbai. Somehow, the knowledge that your loved ones are safe seems more real when you are closer to them geographically. Somehow, I just knew that all my friends and family members were safe. I didn't need to call them to know (though I do appreciate everyone's calls).

Of course what happened is tragic and I am not trying to trivialize anyone's feelings. I just wanted to share my own reaction or lack thereof in an attempt to understand it. And as I try to understand myself, I keep thinking of three years ago and the discussion, the questions, the activities we did with our six year olds in school who came with half baked stories, rumors and confusing stereotypes reinforced. I keep thinking of them now and hoping that someone is talking to them this week as well.

Doc-yat Dukhte

2011-06-18T09:22:00.001+05:30

Today's list:

Visa Documents
Science Curriculum Documents
Police Clearance Documents

Yuck

R I OK?

2011-06-16T23:20:00.000+05:30

Budd: So, which "R" you filled with?
Elle Driver: What?
Budd: They say the number one killer of old people is retirement. People got 'em a job to do, they tend to live a little longer so they can do it. I've always figured warriors and their enemies share the same relationship. So, now you ain't gonna hafta face your enemy on the battlefield no more, which "R" are you filled with: Relief or Regret?
Elle Driver: A little bit of both.
Budd: Bullshit. I'm sure you do feel a little bit of both. But I know damn well you feel one more than you feel the other. The question was, which one?
Elle Driver: Regret.

______
A rather interesting exchange. It made me wonder which R am I filled with.

My bike

2011-06-12T13:01:00.000+05:30

LP

2011-06-11T11:04:00.001+05:30

This is not the end
This is not the beginning,
Just a voice like a riot
Rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone
And the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady
Something empty's within 'em

We say Yeah!
With fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something
That's invisible there,
'Cause we're living at the mercy of
The pain and the fear
Until we dead it, Forget it,
Let it all disappear.

Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control....

Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It's hard to let you go...

(Oh!) I know what it takes to move on,
I know how it feels to lie,
All I wanna do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last,
I wish it wasn't so...

(Oh!) I know what it takes to move on,
I know how it feels to lie,
All I wanna do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

What was left when that fire was gone?
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on
And i don't even know what kind of things I've said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
So, picking up the pieces, now where to begin?
The hardest part of ending Is starting again!!

All I wanna do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what i haven't got...

This is not the end
This is not the beginning,
Just a voice like a riot
Rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone
And the violet rhythm
Though the words sound steady
Something empty's within 'em
(Holding on to what i haven't got)

We say Yeah!
With fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something
That's invisible there,
'Cause we're living at the mercy of
The pain and the fear
Until we dead it, Forget it,
Let it all disappear
(Holding on to what i haven't got!)

Today's list of things

2011-06-10T09:36:00.000+05:30

Rain.
Lunch. Or no lunch?
Design.

Coffee.
A long list of things to do :(
Medicine.

three more days

2011-06-09T18:13:00.000+05:30

On Monday I have to tell the kids that Purvi didi is not longer their principal :(
Already kids have started calling me to understand why I'm not in school. I STILL do not know what I'm going to tell them. I'm trying not to get stressed about it as per doc's orders but its hard NOT to think about it all the time.

90% of those students have been taught by me at some point. I guess that makes it harder.

There may be a lot of venting on this space in the next week or two.
Just FYI.

A few of my favourite things

2011-05-29T15:04:00.001+05:30

Birthday surprises and ceramic tea cups.
My ipod and youtube, ingenious Glee mash-ups.
Calvin and Hobbes and a few other strips.
These are a few of my favourite things.

Swimming and cycling, a world of my own.
Train rides and road trips,
a dream I call home.
Cooking for friends with red wine on the side.
Pictures of school that I post with pride.

Simon Baker with those twinkling eyes.
Trekking in mountains and crisp apple pie.
Tulips and lilies and wildflowers too
The smell of fresh coffee,
blue jeans- old or new!

Killian's, Kingfisher, Red Stripe and Tuborg.
Guinness and Bailey's - an explosive car bomb!
Mint Juleps,Sambuca, Whiskey Sour I'll drink.
These are a few of my favourite things.

On June 13th...

2011-05-27T15:35:00.000+05:30

Making a decision is not the hard part. Almost all decisions that I've made in my life have been led by my heart and my gut. I am not the kind to make a pros and cons list.When something feels right, I take a step.

It is only after the decision has been made.. and after some time has passed on... and the time nears to say farewell to the people you love... THAT is the hard part.

In three weeks time, I'll be saying goodbye to about 150 kids whom I love with all my heart. Children in whom I have invested every ounce of my being for the last three years.

What will I say to them? Will I be able to stay calm? Strong?

They will move on, as kids do. I will move on too I guess. And the world will keep turning. But the thought of that moment where I am facing them and have to tell them about my decision is too painful to even think about. And yet, I think about it every single night.

Moving on is the right decision. So why does it have to be so hard?

Face the Facts- It Is Science Fiction!

2011-05-12T22:37:00.000+05:30

In 1991, we got Internet at home. We had dial up and a shell account - all text, no graphics. Some other families who could afford the higher monthly payments had the regular TCP/IP accounts. All I did online was send email and chat on IRC. There were a few rooms that I frequented, the most common of them being Bombay. We even had a few chat meetups where I got to meet all my online friends. I made one or two friends then ... for life :-D It was like having a pen pal without the effort of going to the post office. Very often some of my chat friends would find the password for someone's TCP/IP account and we'd ALL log in till the password was changed or the account expired. Imagine that poor guy's phone bill at the end of the month with about FIFTY people using his password !!

I still remember the FIRST time I surfed online. I don't remember what browser I used, what search engine or what I searched for but I was awestruck. It really was like MAGIC! I remember thinking that this is what all the science fiction books have been talking about!

That was then. Today, I realize I am SURROUNDED by data. There are probably bits of data floating past me as I write this. I still don't understand how most of it works though it seems a little less magical now. I am living in a science fiction book. Anything is accessible anywhere. I know exactly where my friend in the United States is having lunch because she just "checked into" her restaurant. Someone can read a book on their laptop and it will open to the same exact page on their kindle because the data is stored in some kind of electronic cloud. I can can never get lost - while driving or in translation- because maps and dictionaries are accessible at the touch of a screen. I can actually SEE my aunt living 14,000 miles away while I chat with her in real time, sitting in a coffee shop in some third country. I can store up to 3,,000 songs on a simple device that I can also use to take photographs and make phone calls. Phone calls- what an archaic idea :)
I can write this now and some unknown person sitting in Siberia can read about my life.

We are all part of one large electronic network. How far are we from having a connected consciousness? Or from having some parts of our brains become quite redundant if they could be hooked up directly to the world wide web? Could I instantly "hear" a song that is on your mind if I thought of it at the same time? Could I send you a "brain-mail"and receive an instant response?

What I am curious to read is the current lot of science fiction. I haven't read one in a long time. Wonder what future facts have already been predicted by this generation's SciFi writers?

Siblings

2011-05-11T20:42:00.000+05:30

My brother was here for a week to attend his best friend's wedding. It was a surprise visit and trust me, I WAS surprised to see him at Leo's. Completely unexpected and just brilliant!

The week is up and he is gone. We didn't get a chance to hang out much this time but just knowing that he was a drive away was comforting. I spend the entire day with him today. I say that, but we didn't really do anything. Either he was online, or I was writing, or we were discussing electronics for about two hours (am convinced that Amazon's Kindle is just phenomenal). Just random stuff. But we were in the same room pretty much the entire day.

When your brother lives so far away, then even these moments of doing nothing seem precious. I think every child should grow up with a sibling. It is a relationship unlike any other and no friend, no cousin, no partner can compare to it. Having a sibling guarantees a lifetime of arguments, secrets, laughs, inside jokes, disagreements, sharing, learning and caring.

Mehul and I are very similar in so many ways. We like to read. We like outdoor activities. We don't think very much before 'investing' in something that catches our fancy. We LOVE to watch and discuss movies. We both like to drink, play board games, plan events, travel. We both love popcorn, Maggi, cheese, good beer. We both like to teach :) We are both fiercely independent and quite stubborn. Luckily for us, we have (in our adult lives at least) been on the same side of most issues.

I miss having him around. It was nice to see him so randomly and I'm looking forward to some serious trekking and camping in the fall!

Dil Se

2011-05-08T23:22:00.000+05:30

Its funny how music has the power to change your mood completely.

It took one song to whisk me away to Somerset Street.

Its like I am not even here. I am on a grey spring day on Busch campus waiting for the bus, walking to the station, waiting for NJ Transit, getting off amidst the chaos of Penn Station, waiting for another train, walking to 73rd street.

Somehow, I always enjoyed New Brunswick the best when the weather was a bit dull or if it was raining. It was the best time to be by myself, to walk around passion puddle, or to go sit at Au Bon Pain or Neubies.

I have had many meals at Neubies.I have also written many pages sitting there.

:)

Change of tide- part 2

2011-05-07T00:14:00.001+05:30

Most organizations are the same.
A few dare to be honest. They may not be exceptional but they are honest.

The purpose of an NGO is NOT to replace the government. Is NOT to create a parallel system to the government. A change in tide - NGO's working with the government. Working on scale. Their work may not be exceptional. But if they are willing to push a system from 'bad' to 'fair' on a large scale, who are we to mock them? They don't claim to be exceptional. Just honest.
Not everything works on scale. Some things must be compromised. What is compromisable? Pedagogy? Time? Training? Values? People? What is uncompromisable? learning? What is learning anyway?

A change in my own perception of the role of an NGO.
A change in my own ambitions if I can call it that.

I am the same in many, many ways- pedagogically, philosophically... not much has changed. But my outlook towards the developmental sector is definitely changing.

Change of tide

2011-04-30T23:24:00.000+05:30

Everything is the same.
Every place is the same.
Most people are the same.

Except a few.
A few people are exceptional.
And I have been lucky in life to have met a few of these exceptional people.

I created something different. Or maybe I only thought it was different.
I created something special. Or maybe only I thought it was special.

I created a space for myself.
Will I find that space again..
A personal space that is unique within any place that looks like any other place.
The same yet a bit different.

I am also the same . Yet a bit changed.
A bit scared. A bit lost. A bit curious. A bit jaded. A bit confused.
A little bit alone.

End

2011-04-20T00:01:00.000+05:30

We have a year end tradition at AN. Everyone comes together at someone's home and we have yummy food and each person shares their journey through the year. We have been doing this for the past three years. But never before today have the presentations been so meaningful, so artistic, so poetic and so heartfelt.

Today was the proudest day of the year for me. To feel the passion of so many teachers towards a cause that I hold so dearly to my heart. To hear the stories of spectacular teamwork and incredible journeys... so many little anecdotes that I wasn't even aware of. To listen to teachers share their learnings and really mean every word of it - be it about how they were surprised by their children every single day of the year and that was the greatest learning for them. Or how every child should be given the opportunity to participate in sporting competitions, and so what if they are not good at it? Or a teacher realizing how important it is for her to find her own style and be proud of it! Or someone saying that they have never before worked at a place where they had made such good friends and that was the biggest learning for them...

I love my teachers.
Each and every one of them.

Just Do It

2011-04-01T23:35:00.000+05:30

Have you heard the song?

It says:
"Sometimes it goes right down to the wire
And you might have to walk through the fire
Walk on, boy all the way through
Sometimes it just comes down to
Do what you gotta do"

Sometimes you can keep standing at the crossroads for a long, long time. Trying to decide which way to turn. Turn back or turn right. You know exactly where one road will take you. You know that road. You've walked down that road before. Its familiar. Funny... because that's exactly where you're afraid of losing yourself.

The other road... well the song says that if you walk down on the mean street, you'll have to take the heat... so do you take the heat and do what you got to do?

"There ain't nobody in this world
That's gonna do it for you
Do what you gotta do"

The Hardest Exam Ever

2011-03-24T17:53:00.000+05:30

The Hardest Exam Ever: Has There Ever Been a Period That Was Not an Information Age?

From Harper's, the All Souls Exam. Some call this the hardest exam ever, with fascinating questions. Some particularly good ones bolded, but first the preamble:

From general subject questions included in the All Souls College examinations between 2005 and 2010. Often described as the hardest exam in the world, the test is given over two days in September to recent graduates of Oxford, with winners receiving an Examination Fellowship of seven years. Applicants take four examinations of three hours each, and in the two general subject tests must answer three questions from a list. No more than three fellowships are awarded in any year, and in some years none are given. Last September approximately one hundred people took the exam, and three fellowships were awarded.

What is war good for? From where does a sense of community come?
Are there too many accountants and auditors?
Is there anything to be said for astrology?
Why should I tolerate?
Is exile always a misfortune?
If there are millions of other planets capable of supporting advanced life-forms, why haven’t we seen or heard from them?
Is dark energy more interesting than dark matter?
What do extremes in dress and personal adornment signify?
Do historical novels harm historical study?
Has there ever been a period that was not an information age?
Why does truthfulness matter?
Should England declare independence?
Are universal human rights a form of cultural imperialism?
Have developments in electronic communications destroyed our personal space?
What can we learn from a century of sound recording?
Should we worry about the fate of the British red squirrel?
Is China overrated?
If modern politics is “managerial,” should politicians be better managers?
What has happened to epic poetry?
What can we learn from Las Vegas?
Is “women’s writing” a distinct category?
What difference should it make to feminism whether gender differences are natural or socially constructed?
Have any philosophical problems been finally solved?
Is it worse to be cruel to a fox than to a leaf?
Does business entertaining differ from bribery?
How many civilizations are there in today’s world?
Do we work too hard?
Can happiness be measured?
What are the deprivations of affluence?

Intentional Rambling

2011-03-17T23:03:00.000+05:30

On many occasions, those of us in the field of education must have grappled with the question of the purpose of education.

What is the point of it all? Why do kids (and teachers) have to wake up at an unearthly hour, carry three times their body weight, sit in 400 sq ft rooms for 7-8 hours of the better part of the day, sag back home, spend another few hours "studying" stuff and then do it all over again the next day for almost 3000 days of their existence (if not more?) Really. To what end? And how important is that end? And who decides which end is the most appropriate or exciting for this redundant film?

Keeping all discussions of whether what I've described above is really education, there are many answers commonly heard:
1. Kids need to be educated to prepare them for the future... for life
2. Kids should be educated so that they can have choices in life.
3. They should be educated so that they can get jobs and become economically independant
4. So that they can make informed choices
5. So that they can become good human beings
6. So that they can contribute to society
6. They can transform society

The list is endless.

The interesting thing is that what one believes to be the purpose of education will drive the WAY that education is transacted- in that school, in that organization, in that country. It will also determine what that elusive end will look like.In other words, our belief about the purpose of education will drive the process and the outcomes of that process. This is because in the words of Rohit Dhankar "education is an INTENTIONAL act. "

So for me the most logical next question arises- whose intention? The parents'? The school board? The government? Hmmm... what about the child's own intentions? At what age is the child ready to state her own intention for why she wants to be educated? Perhaps the more significant question is, at what age are we ready to listen to the child and trust that intention. And consequently trust the education that we ourselves have imparted to him thus far. And would we be happy if his intention does not match ours for trying to educate him in the first place? Oh wait! Do we even have ANY control over that?

Maybe the purpose of education should be to help the child figure out his own intention of why and how he wants to get educated.... just a thought.

The Right Act

2011-03-09T23:11:00.000+05:30

Went to Jaipur and visited two schools- Bodh and Digantar. Also met the founders of mentioned organizations.

A metacognitive whirlwind of a tour.

This is part one - related to our session on the RTE act with Yogendraji from Bodh

Over the past year, I've read and heard many criticisms about the RTE act. But for the first time, I had the opportunity to understand the spirit in which this act was created. It was refreshing. Its easy to be cynical... but to have the job of creating an act that will affect the lives of millions of children is a great responsibility and requires tremendous clarity and courage. The act has been criticized most for not including 'all children' and for its lack of focus on outcomes and on "quality" of education. My understanding from hearing Yogendraji was that the bill was drafted not to increase learning outcomes or to improve school systems. It was drafted for the children of this country. It is the first step- to ensure that every child has access to a clean, safe school building with qualified teachers who can give them the attention they need in small classes. It intends to transfer accountability to parents and the local community. It puts the onus of attendance, enrollment and completion of primary education on the GOVERNMENT. It considers the emotional, social and psychological well being of the child more important than academic alignment (hence the focus on age of child). It talks about a fear free environment and does away with all forms of stress including examinations. It also protects every child's right to free and compulsory education by expanding the functions of the NCPCR and SCPCR. The RTE act should be made compulsory reading for all teachers and principals and discussed and debated at length. It should be read WITH the Continuous Comprehensive Evaluation Policy and be discussed in the same breath as the role and function of a 'neighborhood' school.

How it directly affects AN:
1) Admissions of kids in older standards- how we do it (we are not supposed to screen) and how many can we accommodate ( we are not supposed to say no to ANYONE)
2) PTA- How we build and leverage this committee and ultimately hold ourselves accountable to them
3) CCE- How do we implement this in its true spirit (given the mess that Maharashtra has made of it)

Where I'm From

2011-02-22T19:45:00.002+05:30

My second and third graders are writing a poem based on George Ella Lyon's poem. I rather like this poem and thought it would be interesting to take a stab at it myself without thinking much about what I'd write but just letting the ideas flow...

I surprised myself by what came to mind.

I am from the dog-eared, musty books in my grandfather's living room.
I am from conversations, pipe dreams and flights of fancy from my childhood.
I am from the sour taste of chewy candy to the cold, crisp bite of ice.
From mint juleps and fresh tulips.
I'm from singular notes of music to lyrics that question.
I'm from the sounds of New York City to a bright red kitchen with basil.
I'm from wondering to knowing to doing to learning to growing.

Identity

2011-02-18T18:58:00.006+05:30

Some years back, as we were procrastinating in our office in Main Hall, Teachers College, someone made us play this 'game' around identity. We were given several chits with words written on it like gender, age, nationality, occupation, skin color, etc. We had a few seconds to order these chits according to the words that we felt most contributed to our identity at that point. Being in the United States, I put nationality first since my identity at that time revolved mainly around the fact that I was Indian and I often thought about all the baggage and stereotypes that came with that. Of course this being a graduate program, the 'game' snowballed into a great conversation and discussion around identity and what that means.

In later years, my dissertation too involved the idea of identity - that of a science educator teaching for social justice (or not).

Today, I was thinking... what defines my identity? In other words, which aspects of who I am and what I do actually make me who I am today? Not one for making lists and then methodically going through them, I put down here the top three things that come to my mind (in that order).

1. My work
2, My age
3, Okay I really cannot think of number 3.

The fact that I am Indian no longer matters. Also my gender is sort of irrelevant at this point either at my workplace or in my personal life. This is because I am surrounded by a sea of women at work and I do not see my gender affecting the role I play at home (on most days).

My work, because many new things that I have learned about my self and continue to learn have slowly come to be revealed through what I do. The peaks and troughs on my 'character map' have only become sharper and more evident over the past three years since I opened the school. My own acceptance of and comfort with who I am also grows with every single day that passes as ed leader at the school. My work doesn't define me because of what i do but because it makes it impossible for me to be anything other than who I am.

My age. My twenties were the BEST time of my life. I had a really, really good time. I made some of my closest friends, I moved continents, I stayed in NYC, I met Niraj, I connected with cousins and formed a bond for life, I discovered my passion for teaching, I struck off at least one thing off my "things to do before I die" list (so I have a FEW lists).... but now, I am here for me. I want to find out what drives me, who inspires me, how will I deal with being old., do I want kids, ... I need to make some decisions that will affect the rest of my life and all of these decisions need to be made because I am of a certain age. So yes, my age defines my identity today.

If I was forced to write something for number three, I am tempted to say that the people around me define me as well. But Iwon't put it down for sure because I don't know how... I like to surround myself with people who I respect and I feel that the choices I make about whom to either befriend, work with or distance myself from will shape who I become as a person. But I'm still not even sure what that means and how it works.. So we can leave it be.

This is a rather random post. Something that popped into my mind while coming home from school. Would like to hear what other people think defines their identities :)

Life.

2011-02-13T11:54:00.002+05:30

wonder. hunger. contentment. love. curiosity. hurt. learn. excitement. sadness. anger. experience. mistakes. growth. friendship. heartbreak. adventure. freedom. rat race. choices. conflict. discovery. ambition. empathy. service. decisions. justice. fairness. journey. future.

2011-02-08T23:51:00.001+05:30

I think I need a job where I care less and I can be careless.

Thank you for visiting. Please come again.

2011-02-06T11:31:00.004+05:30

Why are NGOs not open to people visiting their schools and seeing their work? I've had this experience now TWICE in one week.

One is an organization in Mumbai who runs a school similar to ours. In spite of planning the visit a few weeks in advance, when we finally arrived at the site, we were only 'allowed' to go into one or two classes and explicitly told that we could not see other classes... A couple of my teachers felt that even the two classes we did observe were a bit 'staged'...

The second NGO is in Rajasthan and while they have agreed to let our group of 22 visit their schools, they will not let the four of us visit it a few days in advance to even set up the visit? Why? What are they afraid we will see on the 25th that we will not on the 2nd?

Is it that visitors disrupt classrooms? Other than that I cannot think of any good reason why someone doing good work would not want to share their effective practices with as many people as possible, especially if the visit is planned? Its a bit of a turn off really. You are made to feel unwelcome and as if you are causing them a huge inconvenience.

And here we are... We have on an average about 6-7 visitors a month per school and we are more than happy to show them around, take the time to sit down with them and answer their questions. I don't have to do it. I too can easily get one of my teachers or someone from the office to show them around the school, but like we experienced, will that person be able to do full justice to the work we are doing, the struggles we are facing? Besides, it also leaves a lasting impression on the guest. I learned a few things from my ex principal- Lisa. She always took personal interest in every guest who came to her school, she introduced every single person to that guest including the helpers, security guards, etc.I try to do the same as much as possible.

One of the things that I like about working at Akanksha is our transparency and enthusiasm to share. And I think that's because we are doing good work and when I do get the opportunity to show that to someone, I take tremendous pride in doing so myself!

February 8th 2006

2011-02-05T13:53:00.003+05:30

That's the date on which I wrote the following rhyme. I remember writing it too...

Silliness

This is a poem about ordinary things.
About credit card applications that your postman brings.

About "priority seating for persons with disabilities"
on the uptown C train in compartment 3376.

Its about garlic and onions and sweet potatoes too,
you know I'm just making this up as I go, don't you?

This poem's for all the birthday cards I've received from out of town.
Graffiti on the sidewalk? I've seen worse art forms!

This poem's about my green gloves
that don't match the hat on my head
or the scarf I'm wearing today that is bright scarlet red.

______

It stops there. My station must have arrived.

I must have been really, really bored when I wrote it but reading it now just brings back such a sharp memory of sitting on that train, getting off at Port Authority and walking to Times Square to then jump on to the uptown 1 train.

I guess that why I like to write. Wherever, whenever I feel like it. Because it captures how I feel exactly at that moment and when I read it years later, I can remember...

A place to call my own

2011-02-04T20:20:00.002+05:30

Throughout my adult life, I've always had one of these. A safe spot in the garden below my house, my window sill, Au Bon Pain on College Avenue, even the Teachers College cafeteria... to name a few.

A place to call my own when I need it the most. To be alone.

Yesterday I needed one badly and without even a second of a thought, the place popped my mind. Just like that. I don't know why or how but I didn't question it. I just jumped in a taxi and headed there. I sat there for an hour, alone and I felt myself breathing better, thinking clearly and calming down.

A place of my own to reflect with complete honesty.

Just for Today

2011-02-01T22:47:00.004+05:30

I had a 13 hour day today.

When I come home after a long day, I do one of the following- read, watch TV or go online and listen to music. My day is pretty much incomplete unless I've heard at least half a dozen songs on a loop. Every day can be captured through a song. There is an anthem for every 24 hours that pass. Sometimes its a melody that reflects the mood of my day. Sometimes its the lyrics that capture something important...

I feel sad for those who do not have any music in their lives.

If I could, I'd make my own tune... but since I can't, I make do with the virtually endless world of beautiful, haunting, inspiring, uplifting, soothing, calming melodies of the world.

Sand

2011-01-30T10:44:00.001+05:30

If you can heal the symptoms
But not affect the cause
It's quite a bit like trying to heal
A gunshot wound with gauze

If you instead attempt to wrest
The pistol from the hand
Then I would not be able to
Equate my life with sand

Flowing through the hourglass
Pushing through the funnel
Turn once more while racing
All your siblings for the tunnel

Slide and let the silicone
Embrace you as you fall
Then bounce and land you let
Your brothers crush you to the wall

I would choose my own religion
And worship my own spirit
But if he ever preached to me
I wouldn't want to hear it

I'd drop him, a forgotten god,
Languishing in shame
And then if I hit stormy seas
I'd have myself to blame

-Phish

Girl Power

2011-01-29T16:56:00.004+05:30

Today, I'm really happy. Our kids did themselves and me so proud at our second annual sports day with Shindewadi.

Really Happy.

I've always sucked at sports. My school never had an emphasis on games. And I've always hoped (even when running my own school was just a pipe dream) that sports and games would be a something that students in my school would get FULL EXPOSURE to, especially the girls.

I am totally kicked by the idea of inter school competitions- particularly for team games like football, basketball,etc. I think nothing brings a school together like competing against another school... I also think that both winning and losing builds a lot of character. Last year, when we lost quite miserably, it only motivated me to go back and retrieve that trophy this year...which we did by the way :)

I can't stop smiling. When I saw the strength and determination with which the girls (in particular) played today, something in the pit of my stomach fluttered ....

Happiness.

Ek Dastaan Purani...

2011-01-26T14:47:00.007+05:30

I'm in a certain kind of mood that I cannot explain... melancholic would come close I guess, but not quite.
Conflicted?
Restless.

There are many reasons which I cannot pen here. Its a battle between my mind, my heart and my ego.

Like every other person on this planet, I too have my internal demons... and from time to time I need to battle them. Its an old tale. Its tough.

I don't suffer from victim syndrome and I don't intend on being cryptic but the current public nature of privacy prevents me from writing down exactly everything going on in my head. However the need to definitely write SOMETHING is not worth fighting.

On most days I am cheerful but on days like today, a song like this one seems appropriate to capture my mood.

Today's List

2011-01-24T19:12:00.007+05:30

I want to be here...

...drinking...

CMS:Trapped

2011-01-24T00:06:00.004+05:30

...
No navigator to guide my way home
Unladened, empty and turned to stone
A soul in tension that's learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I

Marathon

2011-01-16T14:39:00.003+05:30

Today hundreds of Mumbaikars and others ran in one of our city's best organized events- The Marathon. I did not participate. I plan to every year but cannot bring myself to instill the discipline needed to train for it... or even for half of it.

I do feel on some days when I get back home from work that I have just run 42 Km. Like this Friday. It was not a very good day. As it has been every January since we started the school, the race to get empty classrooms in the school building for the following academic year begins around the same time when thousands of runners are getting warmed up for a different kind of competition. In addition, mine is like a marathon with obstacles -when information is misconstrued by the powers that be and channels of communication between employees are a bit clogged. I spent 95% of Friday sorting out an unnecessary mess and meeting with 5 different people, making phone calls, drafting letters and filling in lists and then trying to point out my BIC's mistakes without making them sound like they were mistakes. Being tactful has never been a particular strength of mine. Neither is playing politics. I was mentally exhausted by 6 pm and put the issue out of my mind till this morning when I had to make the phone call to an 'officer' who I do not know, who does not know me and who I hope and pray to God does not say something to my BIC to turn her against me- to ruin a relationship that I have taken two years to build!

On days like Friday when I come home after running my own private Marathon, there is no satisfaction or pride. There is only anxiety till the issue is temporarily solved... untill the next year, that is.

These are the days when my disillusionment in the idea of a "system" is simply reinforced. Its all well and good when things are running smoothly but ultimately, all decisions lie in the hands of a few who have the power within that system.

We run a very successful school.
Our children are confident, smart and excited about learning.
Our parents support us 100%.
My teachers put in everything they've got for these kids.
And we do not charge the MCGM one naya paisa.

That should be enough.

CMS: Disturbed

2011-01-08T22:12:00.000+05:30

Life is a Mystery
Everyone must stand Alone
I hear you call my name...

Merry Christmas

2010-12-23T22:01:00.002+05:30

Its Christmas Time! And Christmas will always remind me of my cousins, of opening presents, of decorating a tree. I remember my first Christmas in NJ. I spent the night decorating this huge tree with my cousin, Nipa. She told me stories attached to many of the ornaments we put up. I was in awe when we plugged in the lights and turned on the switch. It was magical! The next day, EVERYONE arrived to Edison and we opened about two hundred gifts! We celebrated a big Christmas every single year that I lived in the US. Sometimes in NYC and sometimes in NJ.

One year, my room mate and I bought a REAL tree and had to carry it ourselves about 6 looong blocks and up three flights of stairs. We managed to shove it through our tiny door somehow and with the help of our Jamaican neighbor, Paul, managed to balance it precariously (though it was bent on one side). We had pine shedding all over the house but it smelt wonderful, felt wonderful when we were done decorating it :) I remember my friends came over from Jersey that year and we played bridge in the living room next to the beautifully lit tree. It was cold outside but not in the house.

One year, we went ice skating at Rockefeller center and I never, never, never got over the awe of walking around the city this time of the year- even in the freezing cold!

As years passed, new members were were added to the family- Namita, Sima and then the babies :) Each Christmas was special because there was always someone new for whom it was the first holiday with the Vora side of the family. After a point it was impossible to buy gifts for everyone and we had to do a secret Santa....

I miss all my cousins and aunts and uncles most of the time but this time of the year, I miss them TERRIBLY!

Animal Kingdom

2010-11-15T23:59:00.004+05:30

I don't ever wish
to nibble on a fish
and isn't it quite wicked
to feast on little chicks?
That poor stuffed duck
ran out of luck
the day you decided to order from Puck's.

Shooting rabbit is game?
What about his pain?
And those escargots on your plate
didn't deserve this fate!

The lamb who's now lamb chop,
didn't even get to know his pop.
And steak, well-done or rare...
do you think the cows really care?

I'd rather eat my french beans
and fruits and cheese like edam.
Because I cannot bring myself
to eat the animal kingdom

My Favourite Beatles' Songs

2010-11-14T19:19:00.003+05:30

Across the Universe

Blackbird

Hey Jude (obviously!)

All You Need Is Love

I Saw Her Standing There

Norwegian Wood

And...

In My Life

A critical analysis of social gatherings in two countries

2010-11-13T13:04:00.003+05:30

In the US: It was mostly friends
In India: Its mostly family

In the US: We ate and played games
In India: We eat and watch TV; or we eat.

In the US: There is always wine
In India: There is always Whiskey

In the US: We crashed at each other's houses
In India: We go home

In the US: We experimented with cooking
In India: We order out

In the US: We had only ourselves
In India: We have babies, kids and senior citizens

In the US: There was always, always, music
In India: There is chit-chat

Umang

2010-10-22T19:30:00.004+05:30

I have been presented with an opportunity to be part of the core design team for a large scale HM Leadership Training Project. This project is part of a larger 'School Improvement Programme' for Hindi, Marathi and Urdu medium schools in Mumbai being undertaken by the MCGM and a consulting group. Let us call this group Y. There are a host of other organizations that have partnered with MCGM to take on this mammoth task (there are nine hundrd HMs across these schools in Mumbai).

Today, I attended the "HM Marketing Event" held by Company Y for selected HMs from zones 1,4,5 and 6. The idea was to convince HMs to sign up for the first phase of this eighteen month training programme beginning in November. I wasn't invited but I was curious. Although I felt guilty about leaving my school, I am glad that I went because I learnt a lot from the small group conversation I was part of as well as a larger group discussion we had. Here I want to share some of their thoughts. Though not verbatim, these capture the essence of the feelings in the room.

We have no power. If those who have power want to do nothing, give us the power and we will do something.
You say you want to improve schoools through this programme but then you take HMs away from their schools and make them sit here all day wasting their time. How exactly do you plan to improve schools like this?
Why do you think we need training? Do you think we are incapable of running our schools?
We do not need more training. We need more time to do our jobs properly.
99.99% of our teachers are dedicated and will show results if only they are given time to be in their classrooms.
You NGOs should set up centres in our communities so you can help kids with their school HW.
One of my teachers got herself transferred after three days in my school because she did not like the route.
We need a clerk.
Give us one clerk.
If only we had a clerk...

Makes me wonder. For years now the administrative load on our public school principals has only grown. "School Managers" is how one HM responded when asked asked by the Education Officer if they thought he were school leaders. If year after year, HM after HM is saying only one thing- that they need an admin person to take some of that paperwork burden off their shoulders, why is no one listening?

One of my favourite songs!

2010-10-10T18:09:00.000+05:30

Sir Ken Robinson: Bring on the learning revolution! | Video on TED.com

2010-09-26T10:51:00.000+05:30

Sir Ken Robinson: Bring on the learning revolution! | Video on TED.com

Nothing To Envy

2010-09-23T19:58:00.010+05:30

The world is looking at North Korea as an entire country is inherited by Kim Jong Il's youngest son.

Co-incidentally I am reading a book on North Korea called Nothing to Envy. Written by Barbara Demick, the book is a haunting insight into the lives of six North Koreans who live(d) in Chongjin, the country's third largest city.

Frankly, I knew little about this ghost of a country except that it follows a communist regime, it harbours nuclear weapons, hates the United States and was part of Bush's "axis of evil" rhetoric.

Yet, Korea (as a unified country) has an ancient history and culture that is barely talked about today. Its demise probably began with the division of the nation after world war II when a line was "slapped across the map at the 38th parallel" because "the Americans sought to appease the Soviets by giving them the Northern half of Korea to administer" but "wanted to keep the capital, Seoul, in the U.S. sector." Four and a half decades later, in 1991, "while South Korea was becoming the world' largest exporter of mobile telephones, few North Koreans had ever used a telephone." In 1991, my family bought our first computer.

As I read page after page, my emotions alternated between shock and anger, and at times pure disbelief.

Having had the good fortune of being born in a rich family in India, I consider freedom to be a fundamental human birthright. I cannot understand how someone can live their entire life being told what kind of a hairstyle they can don, what they can and cannot say, what they should study, where they should work, how much they can earn, what kinds of books they can read, what kinds of thoughts are morally wrong. - "Propaganda campaigns advise women to adopt traditional hairstyles in accordance with the socialist way of life and the taste of the epoch. For middle-aged women, that means hair cut short, and permed; unmarried women can wear their hair longer if it is tied back or braided. North Korean women are not permitted to wear skirts above the knee, or sleeveless shirts." Yes, one could argue that we are all bound by our own cultures and society's rules and are not really "free"but even within those boundaries, there is still choice and there is still, the freedom to make fun of Lalloo Prasad Yadav or even George W. Bush if one wishes. How do you live in a place where at least one in fifty people that you may know may be an informer for the political police and where you can get arrested for merely expressing skepticism about the "impressive production statistics of boots" in a business report?

The most interesting part of the book (I have not completed it yet but felt compelled to write about it) is its description of North Korea's food crisis in the mid 90's. While not as passionate about agriculture as my friend, csm, I am still probably more interested in matters related to agriculture and food production than most other people I know. Thus, reading about how the history and fate of a nation and its people was so intricately tied to the fate of its food production is both incredibly fascinating and educational for me.

Let me set the context a little bit. Citizens were allowed to grow vegetables in their gardens and sell them but grain sales were prohibited and selling rice (the staple food of Korea) would land you in jail. All grain had to be procured via the public distribution system. While shopping for anything save a few items was almost non-existent in this anti-consumerist culture, "the crowning achievement of the North Korean system was subsidized food...the public distribution system did supply the population with a mixture of grains in amounts that were carefully calibrated in accordance with rank and work." When the cold war ended, imported cheap fuel, oil and various raw materials from China and Russia became scarce. No fuel meant no factories. This meant no exports. No exports meant no money. No money meant no fuel and thus began a vicious cycle. Ultimately, this led to a terrible electricity shortage."(T)he agricultural techniques developed to boost output relied on electrically powered artificial irrigation systems and on chemical fertilizers and pesticides produced at factories that were now closed for lack of fuel and raw materials. North Korea started running out of food, and as people went hungry, they didn't have the energy to work and so output plunged even further. The economy was in a free fall... The people who stood the most to lose were the city folk who had no land on which to grow their own food."

The book then goes on to describe the pathetic and desperate condition of millions of people as they scavenged and begged for food. It also describes the birth of an ironic "new spirit of enterprise" from the womb of a dying socialist PDS. Thousands were demanding food, someone had to supply it... perhaps capitalism is as a"natural" an endpoint to communism as is the evolution of humans from apes.

___________________________________________

Side Note: I went to http://www.korea-dpr.com/. Very Interesting. Click on the links and try to guess which ones work!

InspirEd

2010-08-29T21:48:00.004+05:30

For the past few months, I've been involved in planning a conference along with other members of Akanksha, Teach for India, The Asia Society and The American School of Bombay.

Tonight, that conference came to a close and it was a very special feeling.

We all worked incredibly hard at pulling together India's first education conference of this kind. For two and a half days, we brought together close to 300 participants from the major metros of the country to exchange ideas, to network, learn and be inspired. We had a highly esteemed list of facilitators and panelists who are leaders in education in the nation. The theme of our conference was innovation and we tried to capture much of the reform and debate happening in the Indian education sector today. Be it the RTE panel (which was brilliant), or the variety of sessions available for practitioners to attend, the presence of private and MCGM school teachers and principals at the same forum for the same agenda, the incredibly inspiring closing speech made by the suprintenent of The American School or the Riverside School students presenting their school instead of their teachers... there was not a moment during the past two days where I (a) did not have fun or (b) did not feel proud. And that is a special feeling.

You can visit the website at www.inspiredindia.in

Shades of Grey

2010-08-06T23:27:00.006+05:30

Imagine a fourth grade teacher. A teacher who loves his students and truly believes and cares for them. A teacher who works hard; plans for hours after school, researching articles, lesson plans, videos; a teacher who would never hurt any child in his class intentionally. This teacher was raised in a household where it was okay to "whack" a kid when he did something wrong. He attended a school where he saw teachers slap children's wrists everyday. This teacher believes that if he yells and screams at his students in anger it will not emotionally scar them for life because he has a very special relationship with them and they understand each other. He believes in "tough love." He believes that his students need a strong role model who will not let them get away with bad behaviour. His students respect him.

Now one day, this teacher has a very bad day. He has a fight with his wife, misses his train, gets drenched in the rain and to top it all, his students are behaving terribly. Towards the end of the day, he loses his cool and hits a child. The child is not hurt. The child does not complain to anyone. A few days later, the child mentions this incident to another teacher rather matter of factly and this other teacher brings it to management's notice. The school has a zero tolerance policy towards physical violence.

Should the teacher be fired? Issued a warning? Should the teacher's history and relationship with the student be considered? Should the student be involved in deciding the teacher's fate? Should the teacher be given a another chance? Should his own upbringing and value system be considered?

When asked about his reaction to the incident, the teacher believes that he has not done anything wrong and he cannot understand what the big deal is. After all, he did not hurt the student and he did speak with the student later on... This has never happened before but he is not sorry for what he has done and will not apologise.

What now? Should (lack of) feelings of remorse be considered in deciding his fate? If he was remorseful, should that affect how policy is implemented?

Let us assume that this teacher is issued a warning. A year later another student complains to her principal that this teacher hit her. The teacher is pulled up. He swears on his life that he has not touched the student.

What now? Who should we believe? Should his previous history be considered when weighing in on this particular incident? Should we believe him? Or should we believe the student?

It is later revealed that the student was failing this teacher's class and he had asked her to stay back after school everyday for remedial classes which the student was extremely upset about.
...................

This is not a real story. But it could very well be.

Disciplining Children: Today, at our managers' meeting, we spent the better part of the day discussing this issue. The room was clearly divided along two lines. One camp believing that children should not be touched no matter what and any kind of physical violence, however mild it may seem is grounds for immediate dismissal. The other camp felt that teachers work in very difficult and frustrating situations and may slip once in a while but with enough support and training, they can be turned around. While there is no negotiating a child's safety, it is important to consider the context of any situation and everyone deserves a chance to redeem themselves, to learn from their mistakes. Yes, agreed the first group but we have to draw the line somewhere and that line is hitting a child. What about emotional abuse, some asked? Isn't that just as bad if not sometimes worse? Who decides what the line is and where it should be drawn?

As expected, the meeting got very tense and emotional with every person trying to argue their perspective. A mother's perspective, a teacher's perspective, a policy maker's perspective, a principal's perspective, a manager's perspective...All of our perspectives collided to colour the afternoon a grey shade of deja vu.

Work

2010-07-11T13:46:00.002+05:30

Perhaps its the fact that its Sunday and there is no place in the house for me to sit except at the dining table and nothing for me to do except write this blog... am feeling very restless since this morning... and how many times can one watch the same episode of Glee?

Perhaps its a conversation I had with my colleague recently of starting something on my own or a different conversation with a different colleague of spending some time doing research...

Maybe its just me.

I love my work but I am beginning to get a bit bored. I dislike doing teacher observations and giving the same feedback year after year to new teachers. On some days, I go to school and come back without having spent more than ten minutes at a stretch in any single classroom because there is so much admin and organization stuff going on right now. For the last four weeks since school reopened I have hardly had time to interact with the new KG kids and I have managed to do only 4 lesson observations! I sorely miss teaching but given the exponential growth we had in our school this year both in terms of kids and staff, I decided to not take on any teaching responsibilities. Lately, I've been itching to do something different...

I think I've done a pretty good job of creating a school where things can run on their own or with a proxy leader for some time. Teachers are dedicated and committed and know the processes and pretty much don't need me there all the time. There is a support system for new teachers as well.
I think I want to apply for a fellowship of some sort- I am thinking about Fulbright or Indicorps. Something that will take me away from Mumbai for some time.
Any suggestions?

Pet Peeves

2010-06-08T19:31:00.002+05:30

According to Wikipedia
A pet peeve (or pet hate) is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to them, to a greater degree than others may find it.

I have a few.

1. Being "babied" by an older person e.g. grandma, mom, mom-in-law, aunt, uncle... Comments like "but how will you stay alone? What will you eat? How will you come home?Won't you be scared in the dark?" though coming from a place of concern drive me up the wall!!! C'mon folks! I stayed alone for NINE years! I am used to asking for whatever I need and it does annoy me to keep saying no to offers of concern. I know that makes me sound like such a bitch but hey- it's my pet peeve!
The only person who can baby me is Niraj and I wouldn't mind one bit :D

2. Talking to me while I am on the phone. Tell me what needs to be said or asked BEFORE I get on the phone not while I am on the phone.

3. Tell me to do something once or twice, I'll do it but tell me fifty times and chances are I'll get annoyed and won't do it. I usually do hear ppl on the first time they tell me to do something. If its URGENT I'll do it immediately, if it ain't I will do it eventually but if you keep telling me every half an hour ASSUMING that I've forgotten then I just won't do it.

Okay so the list is very long and as I'm going through it in my head I'm beginning to realise it all has to do with my current living situation. There were some habits that were formed by living on my own for almost a decade. For example, I really prefer to not have much conversation when I wake up in the morning. I prefer to be by myself, listening to music, drinking STRONG coffee. It ain't happening anymore. Especially when I have to wake up REALLY early to go somewhere I prefer to just wake up on my own, get ready, make my own coffee and be with myself. Not happening. I like to watch TV - a lot. I have some shows that I used to watch regularly. Not happening now. I like to cook at my own pace and by myself and I like to listen to the radio when I cook and sip on wine. Not happening now. I like to skip dinner once in a while and just sautee some greens or have a small salad. Can't do that now without provoking a host of comments and concerns about my eating habits. Or even if I snack at midnight while watching TV or eat an extra mango, it is commented upon. It makes me conscious and hence its a pet peeve.

Its not like I don't have the freedom to do whatever I want. I do and I always will but I don't know how to do any of it without it feeling contrived or discussed and its the discussions that annoy me more than anything else.

Chances are this post too will lead to dome "discussion" or questioning.

sigh.

Coming back full circle

2010-05-22T11:15:00.004+05:30

I recently visited the SIDH- Bodhshala School in Kempty (Mussoorie) with my friend, Shalini. This is an experimental school located in the Jaunpur tribal block of the Garhwal district of Uttarakhand. The philosophy of the school is that:

"...education should promote understanding of the self and its relationship with the body, the family, society, nature, and all of existence. Education is about eliciting this understanding from within each of us to live our lives accordingly. SIDH's primary mission is to use education as a tool for social change and to encourage a more meaningful exploration and dialogue, not only in the social and political spheres but also within individual mindsets."

It was an interesting exercise for me to spend two days at this campus interacting with students, teachers, the leader of the school (Mr. Venkatesh Rajan) and the founder of SIDH (Mr. Pawan Gupta).

HISTORY:
Initially, the school was set up as a traditional school. It took a new direction after a research study conducted by members of SIDH in the local communities of this block. Most adults, while expressing the value of education, in the same breath felt that schools were solely responsible for ruining their children. As the gaps between textbook education and the reality of their environment increased, parents felt that students' aspirations were taking them away from their own heritage and rural culture. Hidden messages reaching students via teachers, textbooks and school cultures were making them feel that their own parents and grandparents were "backward" and ignorant and that the only way to a "better" life was a to go to the "modern" city. Families and communities were being broken up as students refused to work in fields and considered manual labour below their dignity because now they were literate. Meanwhile those who had left their villages and migrated to urban centres were not doing so well for themselves. According to the participants of the study, those children who migrated to cities got very mediocre jobs, paying low salaries and creating far more stress now that they had to live alone than they would have every experienced had they decided to stay back. As they put it in Hindi- "na ghar ke rahe na ghat ke."

The researchers were forced to ask themselves if this is what they really wanted students to get from their own school? They questioned the very purpose of education and the kind of values that schools were perpetuating. They deconstructed many text books and found evidence to support what parents were saying. Ultimately their conscience led them to change their own philosophy of schooling and education which is stated above. They also felt that the focus in education today was more on methodology and less on content and that both were equally important to consider when creating /running a school.

Great! As I exchanged ideas with the leader, Mr. Venkatesh and with the founder of SIDH, I grew increasingly excited to see it all in action in the classrooms. Below I describe some of my observations, thoughts and questions.

Observation ONE: I observed a fourth standard Hindi class in action. The assignment was to find out (from parents) the names of those trees in the surrounding that gave "milk" and the uses of such trees. There were 8 children in the class of which four had not done their HW. In spite of this, I was impressed with the kind of knowledge they had about local flora simply by experiencing it. Students have to walk up and down steep paths every single day to get between school and their homes. I am guessing this gives them plenty of opportunity to interact with their environment in a way that a five minute walk on a pavement cannot afford. Kids, who are naturally curious, put many unknown leaves, fruits, flowers in their mouths; collect strange looking rocks; play with goats, cows, dogs on their way... etc. In doing so, they discover new tastes, recognize what is edible and what isn't, stumble, fall, see which trees change with the seasons and which don't, learn steepness and slope and their relationship to work (you need to work harder to climb a steeper slope), etc. etc. etc. Powers of observation and curiosity about the natural world, which are present with all children but gradually lost by the time a child gets to fourth grade in Mumbai, were blossoming in these children. It was a pleasure to hear them.

Observation TWO: In the same class, the conversation touched upon many values- living within one's means, eating seasonal fruits only, helping parents at home, understanding our surrounding, dignity in manual labour. The teacher's intentions were noble but what could have been a tremendous critical dialogue between the teacher and the students ended up as an anti-urban brainwashing session which left me feeling very, very uncomfortable. For an organization that sharply criticizes the kind of "anti-rural" messages being sent to children across India, one of their own at least seemed to be caught in the same trap.

Later on I wondered why I had such a strong reaction. Part of it stems from my belief that no matter what you are teaching children, they have to be given the space to think about things critically. The other part was of course the fact that I am such an urban being and I took it personally that they would say such horrible things about my home (though in my heart I know they are all true). If I could feel so bad about a small group of nine talking about the ills of city life for one hour, it is not difficult for me to imagine how communities in villages must feel about the kinds of messages being sent to school children every day in every class almost across the entire nation!!

Observation THREE: SIDH believes that in the name of education reform, too much importance is being given to methodology and not enough focus is on content i.e., everyone's talking about how to teach but not what to teach. The what is particularly relevant to them given their context. After observing their classrooms, there were a few conclusions that Shalini and I reached independently. Most of the teachers at Bodhshala are locals and while their content is in place, their potential of becoming truly great teachers cannot be met unless methodology is considered. 90% of school the day was characterized by relevant albeit memorized content, teachers relied mostly on whole class instruction, the English class was like a guessing game, the math class focused on only one way of solving a problem and in the balwadi nothing much happened for the last hour and half. It appeared on many occasions that the children knew more than the teachers and that they were itching to learn more and do more. Methodology cannot be dismissed because it contributes greatly to the way children naturally learn- experientially. The school has the perfect location and architecture to support that kind of teaching and I hope Mr. Venkatesh builds teacher capacity in this area as well.

Observation FOUR: The last hour of the school day is "production class." I am glad that we stuck around to observe this hour because as the day progressed we felt more and more depressed at the kind of teaching we saw happening. However from 2:15 onwards the entire energy of teh school shifted and it had NOTHING to do with the teachers. There were all kinds of production activities going on- paper making, carpentry, sewing, embroidery, making masala. Children were weighing, roasting, grinding, making paper pulp, digging, painting and I caught one boy singing to himself as he was working. This is EXACTLY what school should look like. This was everything we had discussed and I had read about. Teachers were merely facilitators needed there to make sure children were being guided in the right direction and that they didn't hurt themselves. I wonder if it would have made any difference even if teachers had not been there. I asked Venkateshji why his entire school day did not look like this. His answer surprised me. He said that his teachers were resistant and they felt strongly that a "classroom education" was more important than this. He said that it had taken him an entire year to convince them to even have this one hour of production.

CONFLICT
Two days at Bodhshala were like a roller coaster ride for me. I was excited, disappointed, appalled, curious, angry and finally so happy to see what I saw in that one production class. Still, there are many questions that are unanswered. On the one hand, I agree with almost everything that Pawan and Venkateshji believe in. On the other hand, the world is moving in a very different direction and I wonder if we are actually doing these children a disservice ? Just as we should not be sending messages to our students about rural life being backward, they should not be sending messages to their children about urban life being evil. It is in the end, a matter of perspective, and children should be able to make up their own minds no matter where they live.

The founders of SIDH believe that it is the "Angreyziyat" that the British left behind that is the cause of our current schizophrenic attitude. They claim to have no qualms with the language- English, but it is everything that comes with knowing English that they find problematic i.e., attitude, superiority complex, cheekiness, disrespect for other languages, etc. They believe that India was far more "progressive" before the British every arrived and we should try and learn more about the kind of sustainable lifestyle we had then. I wonder if EVERYTHING about our "roots"is good and everything that is "British" bad? How can one's worldview be so black and white? As Shalini said, the British did colonize us and now they have left. They are part of our history and we cannot change it. Let us deal with that and learn our lessons instead of trying to fight against the past.

Lastly, SIDH's focus is largely on agriculture. Agriculture is at the crux of humanity and we cannot do away with it if we want to survive and progress. Hence it is vital that we teach our children how to live sustainably and in harmony with the land that gives them food. That learning is definitely relevant to a child living in the hills of Kempty but probably more significant and urgent for a child living in Mumbai who has lost his every connection to the Earth. At the same time, the world is not groups of isolated villages anymore. The issues related to poverty, hunger, land degradation, migration and social injustice cannot be understood but in a global context. Any curriculum of school that is attempting to teach children about the "relationship of self with society" must consider the current definition of society as INCLUDING the west. Else we are merely perpetuating the kinds of differences and dichotomies that we blame the British left behind in our mindsets.

REFLECTION
1. I appreciate the founders' commitment to listening to the community (as pointed out by my friend, Lopa) and the openness they exhibited in changing their entire schooling model!

2. There is definitely an attitude issue with our adolescents in Akanksha with respect to knowledge of English. How can I try to avoid this in my own school? I never really felt comfortable with the whole language immersion model in a school setting because the purpose of going to a school is not to learn language but to learn using language. I find myself leaning more and more towards a bilingual model.

3. There is no question in my mind that working with one's hands is the BEST way to learn. How can we move towards a more experiential learning model? In a true sense?

Brazil

2010-04-08T20:14:00.004+05:30

I was quite certain at some point in my life that I did not want to work for the government.

While technically I am an employee of Akanksha, I do run a municipal school and so I have to plunge into the system once in a while. It is definitely the least favourite part of my job but ironically, the most educational.

It is a fascinating system run mostly by people who know exactly the little bit of information that they need to know to do their job and not much beyond. They mostly do what they are told to do without questioning and it won't even occur to them to make suggestions for improvements no matter how miserable they might be. In many ways, the MCGM is like an army. If too many employees start asking questions or start thinking about the order of things, chaos may break loose. The funny thing is that in this extremely bureaucratic system, it really is the complete participation of all parties in the bureaucracy that keeps everything in motion. If it weren't for the bureaucracy, the MCGM may cease to exist!

I have learnt this the hard way. Everything takes time but if you follow the code and all the procedures correctly, your efforts will bear fruit in the end. Your file may get lost a couple of times and you may have to write several written complaints against corrupt officers but if you do all of that in the correct MANNER and truly understand how to use the system to your advantage you can get 99% of your work done. It may suck the soul out of you but it will work!

It takes a very special kind of person to try and bring about change- even a minuscule one- in this mammoth machinery. I believe that I have met one such person in the last few months -Mr. Ashish Singh, Additional Municipal Commissioner of Mumbai. Yesterday, he came to our school for a "breakfast brainstorming meeting." I was surprised by his humility and his interest in actually pedagogy. It was refreshing to meet someone who cared not just about getting kids in school but also about the quality of education being imparted in those schools :)

As an organization we have this opportunity to work with him to create some change. We will have to take baby steps but its still exciting and I am curious to see if he will succeed or end up like Sam Lowry.

Chapter 2

2010-04-02T20:44:00.002+05:30

Its the beginning of a new chapter for Abhyudaya Nagar Akanksha Public School in June 2010. Two of our founding members, Serenity and Dipti won't be with us when we start the new academic year. Serenity is returning to her own country to pursue her Master's degree and Dipti will continue with Law. We will miss them both because they have been with us since day 1 and literally helped me set up the school.

We also begin grade 3 next year which is a whole new ball game in terms of number of subjects taught, standard of writing expected, teacher expertise needed, external examinations... I feel like K-2 are foundational years when we are only preparing students to enter chapter two of their schooling - grades 3 and 4. Next year will be a true test of whether we have done our kids justice or not !

I don't know who or how the new characters in our story will be and I am a bit apathetic at this very moment. Still, I feel sad about losing two valuable members of our team.

The List is Back.

2010-03-28T21:18:00.002+05:30

No Bath.
Smelly, Oily Purvi.

Nine Lives.

Money.
Taxes.

Barkha Dutt. Very Annoying.

Forced to Update

2010-03-26T18:15:00.004+05:30

I am starting to have spam posted on my last blog. A sure sign that I haven't written in a long, long time. So I am writing here to ensure that spammers know that this site is alive!

It has been crazy. March/April are hectic months. Exams, reports, clean-up, reports, birthdays, admissions. Not to mention the extra headache I've been having trying to deal with some local "politically-connected" worms trying to throw their weight around in our schools. I am tired and now waiting for summer break. The kids are going to have summer camp for the first time this year. Topics are Exploring My City, Creepy Crawlers and How Stuff Works. Should be fun :)

Today I bought some fantastic books for our library next year.
Check out Tulika Books for some GREAT Indian Books! For those with kids in the US of A this is such a lovely resource to help your kids connect to India through books. Now all of a sudden I am obsessed with children's books!

____________
I am reading Nine Lives-I highly recommend it. It will take you through the personal narratives of nine different individuals across the subcontinent whose identities are defined by their relationship with their God and whose lives are guided by their faiths. It is an eye-opening account, melancholic and at times, curious. What drives a 14 year old girl to find such happiness in a thousand year old religion that she becomes a Jain nun? Mysterious. How does religious symbolism allow a prostitute to justify her profession to herself by calling it a dedication to her Goddess? Ironic.

I think anyone who reads this book will learn a lot about "Modern" India.
________________

Great Post

2010-01-17T15:37:00.003+05:30

http://www.internationalpoliticalwill.com/

I follow Will's blog regularly and while most of his posts are really well researched and well written, the latest one struck a chord (for obvious reasons)!!

Perspective

2010-01-01T18:20:00.003+05:30

How often have we said, "I need some perspective?"
But what we probably mean is, "I need to you to validate my perspective."

At a recent conference that I went to, there was a lot of talk about perspectives. The collection of principals, teachers and school leaders there spanned over 6 states in all four directions of our country. Everyone came with their own baggage, issues and of course, perspective. There was a lot of talk about how enriching the conference was because of these multiple perspectives but in reality I have come away from it believing only more strongly in my own! And if each person had the same experience then enriching= validating my own ideas, doesn't it?

There were a few people at this conference who ran their own family-owned schools. This means that running the school is their bread and butter. For some reason, this elicited VERY strong responses from most in the audience. There was a lot of talk about how education is a social enterprise and how it should not be made into a commodity, how it is robbed of its purpose once it is commercialized, etc. We have all heard these arguments. What was interesting though was how as a result of this strong response from everyone (including the facilitator), I felt that one or two voices were completely marginalized in the group. This irked me no end.

Most adults seem to think that when you disagree with someone you then logically have the right to also change their mind.

So the next time you say that you are open to new perspectives, think very carefully, are you? And when you say "open" do you mean you welcome them because of the thrill you feel in then trying to change them?

Bapuji

2009-12-17T21:43:00.002+05:30

Today is my grandfather's death anniversary. Isn't that a funny phrase?

I hardly have any regrets in my life but I do regret that I didn't have a chance to meet him and say goodbye properly. And that he didn't have a chance to meet Niraj.

All of his children and grandchildren were very close to him but I like to think that I was bapuji's favourite grandchild and I think he would have been extremely proud of me today.

It has been 11 years since I went to Surendranagar and I would like to go one last time before we sell the house where I have spent almost every single Diwali till I left for the United States. Ideally I wish I could go there with my parents and Mehul too because then it will feel like old times :)

On this day of my grandfather's death, i do not think of him with sadness but with pride and love.

Tips for travelling to Bali

2009-10-26T18:45:00.003+05:30

Here is the list you have been holding your breath for :P

1. You MUST bargain for EVERYTHING! And I mean everything! Right from food, taxi, car rental, hotel prices, curios, snorkeling, entering the temple, bribing a cop, buying tickets to a show, exchanging currency, anything you can think of!! The only places you cannot haggle in are the gas station, super market and restaurant although we even bargained and reduced the cost of a buffet by HALF! Start LOW and bargain HARD! Don't worry- you won't insult anyone but your own self if you buy something worth Rs 300 for Rs. 3000!

2. Rent a car. You need an international license although you can rent without one. Any country's license will do but you will have to slip the cop some money if you get caught. Renting will be about 2-3 times cheaper (if not more) than taking cabs everywhere, you will have greater freedom and most importantly, you will only have to haggle once!

3. Don't expect white, sandy beaches. The coastline is rugged and rocky and this is not a place to go if you want to lay on the beach sipping margaritas. Bali is great for water sports- snorkeling, diving, sailing, surfing, para-gliding, etc. but not really for sun-bathing on the beach.

4. Avoid touts and guides. They are available a dime a dozen in most tourist spots. Avoid them. Do not make any eye-contact or speak with them. Whatever it is they are offering, you don't need. Trust me! And if you do end up hiring one, you know what to do...

Places to go in Bali
For diving and snorkeling- Amed, Nusa Dua and Padang Bai
For arts and crafts- Ubud
For surfing- Go to the west coast.
To volunteer with an environmental group- Nusa Pedina

Hope this helps all you future travelers to this lovely island!

Family and food in Kuala Lumpur

2009-10-26T18:11:00.005+05:30

Thanks to Malaysian Airlines, we got a free night's stay in Kuala Lumpur on the way back from Bali. We had about 12 hours transit in the city and as a result I got to meet my cousins after a long, long time.

Some of them, I'd met back in 94!! It was a short but joyous reunion, for me at least. I really enjoyed seeing all of them and now want to make a trip back to Malaysia to hang out with them and get to know them all a bit better. In fact, I think a trip to Malaysia definitely should be on the cards in 2010. And not just to meet family. I also want to eat all the delicious Malay food that I am craving!!

I made my cousin wake up his friend and my super-mama drive around for quite some time till we spotted a street vendor selling cendol (Chen-doll). Cendol is basically a dessert made from shaved ice, coconut milk and brown palm sugar. They had some weird green colored noodles in it too but its not necessary! So anyway, this vendor must have been a bit confused as we pulled up next to him in my mama's spanking new Mercedes Benz to buy two bowls of sweet ice for RM 3 (about Rs. 50).

Unfortunately we did not have time to eat everything else that we had on our agenda- roti canai, rojak, char kway teow, fried tahu with garlic soya sauce, ice kacang and of course mee-goreng (both Indian and Chinese style). YUMMY!

Malay food tastes different from other South East Asian cuisine. It has multiple ethnic influences- Indian, Chinese, Malaysian and also some Thai but it has its own unique flavour!

M U S T G O B A C K !!

I did most of my shopping in KL Again, I was only interested in buying food items- Kari flavoured Maggi (its different), some Korean noodles, Thai dipping sauce, mee-goreng sauce and some local-fruit flavoured candy.

We then went to my cousin Bhavana's home where she had made India style mee-hun and popiahs!! That was after a super heavy meal at Vijay Bhai's home where Aarti had made some really fantastic tahu sambhar!!

I was so stuffed that I couldn't even eat the delicious three-course meal we were served in first class (we got upgraded for FREE!!) on Malaysian Airlines!

It was a great way to end our vacation - with good food and family!

Selamat Sore from Indonesia

2009-10-20T15:36:00.008+05:30

Its about 6:10 pm local time and I am sitting in an Internet cafe in Ubud, Bali. We arrived this morning from Candidasa which is on the east cost of the island.

In Candidasa, we went snorkeling in the absolutely brilliant turquoise waters of the Indian Ocean. I have never done this before and it was magical. Everything I imagined it would be. The first thing that strikes you is the silence. You can hear your own breathing and you are all alone in a vast new world with all kinds of lovely creatures. I felt like I was in a fairytale. The conditions were perfect, the water calm and visibility a good 10-15 m. I saw so many fish and corals, but the one I won't forget is a tiny electric blue fish that seemed to almost glow underwater. I also saw some angel fish, cuttlefish and a few others I don't know names of. I thought of my cousin Nilay a lot! We plan to go snorkeling at least one more time before we leave.

The food in Bali is excellent. Being a Hindu island, vegetarian food is easy to find and the restaurants will make almost anything veggie for you. Of course I've been pigging out on mee goreng and the tofu kari!

So far I have tried two new fruits - Salak and Manggis (which is DELICIOUS). I've been dying to eat the durian too but it was banned in our resort due to its smell.

Today we went to Ubud market to buy some spices to bring back home. Here the bargaining is out of control! First of all, the money is all crazy. The lowest cost for anything is 1000 Indonesian rupaiyah. If you want to buy 1 kilo Manggis, for example, the price starts at IDR 50,000. So for a minute, you are lost. You don't even know where to start. Do you say 20,000 or 10,000 or less? Are you going to insult the vendor if you say a certain number? No idea. A meal in a very local restaurant for two will cost you about IDR 90,000. That just sounds CRAZY! It takes a while to get used to all those big numbers. The good news is 1 Indian rupee will get you about IDR 180 on a good day AND the cost of living is low so things aren't that expensive once you get used to exchanging money in the hundreds of thousands :D
Both Niraj and I were millionaires for a week :D

Tomorrow, we are planning to go trekking but more on that later. I also have my list of "tips for travelers to Bali" ready which will be the title of a near-future blog. But... you will have to wait for it!

The role of school

2009-09-13T21:53:00.005+05:30

I am struggling through The Unschooled Mind which is highly technical but very, very informative.

Now a question goes through my mind: why do we send children to school? This is not the same as asking why do we educate our children? But really, the question is: why do schools exist?

Some critics believe that schools play a key role in social reproduction. SpeEdChange has an excellent overview of some of the ways in which schools do this- standards-based accountability, stricter homework, school culture and hence behavioral expectations that align more with middle class values, etc.

For example, why do we INSIST that students stand and walk in a line, raise their hands and ask to go to the toilet in a pre-determined manner (May I go to the toilet please?). I guess some habits and routines are essential for ALL students to know in order to be able to function in society as adults (like waiting for your turn to speak). I can live with that as long as I remember that societal rules of participation are created and legitimised by the dominant group- i.e. the ones with money i.e. not the group that my students belong to. And so while on the one hand, I am preparing them to participate in and become successful in a culture that is slightly alien to them, I am also reproducing that societal order exactly. Am I not?

So then what is my job as a school leader? Is it to ensure that my students -who would perhaps not get a better chance at life and at learning how to think in another school in the neighbourhood- are able to get that chance in my school? Or is it to create anarchists? Or perhaps, there is a middle ground? Can I teach my students to learn the rules of participation in society but to remain critical of them so that they can decide for themselves whether they want to participate at all or whether they believe that they can change the rules if they want?

In my opinion, the role of school is to ensure that every child who emerges from school is aware of his agency (ability or capacity to act or choose) and knows how to activate it if he wants to.
___________

More on this later.

Food for thought

2009-09-12T16:10:00.011+05:30

My mind is running in overdrive. It usually is after our ed leader training sessions but this last one that ended yesterday was a bit of a turning point for me- for several reasons. I will not go into those at the moment.

Akanksha is truly a good place for me to be at this juncture in my life. There is never a lack of stimulating ideas or intelligent minds to push my own thinking. My own thoughts and beliefs are in a process of upheaval at the moment. There are just so many questions and thoughts sprinting through my mind, even as I write this. Everyday, I get pulled in this direction and that and its all terribly exciting because I hope to emerge from this storm of sorts with a greater level of clarity than I have had before. Clarity about my own beliefs about the role of education in society, about my role in the world, my own ambition and drive, my opinions about running an organization, my ability and desire to adapt (or not) to ideas and people I don't agree with. Each training session ends with a heightened sense of self and food for critical thought on my own attitude and persona.

I am completely driven right now to read more, learn more, debate more, be challenged more and in the end have more clarity about what I want to do in my life and why. One thing is for sure, education is my calling. It is only through the process of trying to educate others that I will be able to constantly learn myself. And a life without learning is the same as being dead.

Tidbits

2009-09-04T23:23:00.002+05:30

Joke:
Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "How old are you?"
Witness: "Oral."

Quote:
"I see no good reasons why the views given in this volume should shock the religious sensibilities of anyone." -- Charles Darwin, The Origin Of Species, 1869.

Right to Education

2009-09-03T15:16:00.007+05:30

My colleague initially put me on to this national discussion around a Common School System. Recently, the debate has been revitalized in my mind after reading the RTE bill

I am not sure how I feel about a CSS. Apparently, "The Education Commission (1964-66) had recommended a Common School System of Public Education (CSS) as the basis of building up the National System of Education with a view to “bring the different social classes and groups together and thus promote the emergence of an egalitarian and integrated society.” The Commission warned that “instead of doing so, education itself is tending to increase social segregation and to perpetuate and widen class distinctions.” It further noted that “this is bad not only for the children of the poor but also for the children of the rich and the privileged groups” since “by segregating their children, such privileged parents prevent them from sharing the life and experiences of the children of the poor and coming into contact with the realities of life. . . . . . also render the education of their own children anaemic and incomplete. (emphasis added)” The Commission contended that “if these evils are to be eliminated and the education system is to become a powerful instrument of national development in general, and social and national integration in particular, we must move towards the goal of a common school system of public education.”"

There is something to think about in the CSS philosophy. I am an idealist and I do believe that the rich and privileged in Mumbai at least, are a very powerful lobby, powerful enough to make and satisfy their demands for excellent schooling for their kids. So why not extend the power of those "services" to the poor, who in fact are larger in number? Together, with the power of the rich and the number of poor, the collective demand for excellent, free, compulsory education may become impossible to ignore.

While I could be potentially convinced about the merits of such a system, I'm not sure that the argument made above -that sharing life experiences between rich and poor kids in school -will lead to the kind of egalitarian society being envisioned.

Also, are we taking a step towards a communist ideal by forcing everyone to send their children to the same school? Once again, sameness is not the same as equity. Equality is not the same as equity. If today's multilayered school system discriminates against the poor, won't a CSS discriminate against the rich? Is that, somehow, okay and a way for those guilt-ridden to assuage their guilt?

What about a teacher teaching in such a school. We struggle with differentiation even now when the student population is more or less demographically homogeneous. How would a teacher differentiate her lesson to teach a first grader who can speak with correct sentence structure and articulate his thoughts with a vibrant vocabulary as well as reach another student in the same class who is struggling with basic sight words?

These are the questions ringing in my ears, no thanks to a very heated debate with Niraj.

Put on your dancing shoes

2009-08-18T20:24:00.003+05:30

Yes! Bring them out of the closet, polish them and try them on so you get used to them before you decide to buy Something Relevant's new album -Feels Good to be Live. Okay, so it hasn't released yet. But if their promo song- AHA is anything to go buy, you can bet your swinging booty its going to be one hell of a CD that will make you wish you were listening to them LIVE!

This Mumbai-based band (and I say this with as much ownership and pride as I possibly can without actually being a member of the band) is very, very talented and while I may not be a great connoisseur of music, I have been unable to get through a single track of theirs without my foot involuntarily beginning to tap, my knee jerk (Elvis Presley style) or my face break out into a silly grin.

They have that effect . Their music takes me to a happy place - This song (before the theatrics begin) take me to the forties when I may have been a thirty something in love... in a different life :)

I am waiting for their album to be released.

Muse... move over!

Theories and Muscles

2009-08-18T19:06:00.005+05:30

I am working out at home today. I have two 5 lb dumbbells and can go through the upper body circuit on my own. Its not the same but its something since the gym is shut due to Swine Flu paranoia. Triceps and abs are the HARDEST to tone, shape, build... blah!

School is shut too. I really don't like these random announced holidays. I have nothing planned and nothing to do.

I am (still) reading The God Delusion. Found this website through the book- The American Taliban. This one is a jewel - "When science and the Bible differ, science has obviously misinterpreted its data."

I haven't blogged in a while which may lead you to mistakenly think that my life has become suddenly far more interesting. Not at all. Its only that I am trying to read a lot. I have about 3 books that I am trying to read simultaneously... or at least was trying until I got distracted for the umpteenth time by Douglas Adams. Sigh. How many times can a normal human being read The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide? I am determined to finish reading God Delusion.

I haven't spoken to my brother in a while. He would have discussed the book and its content with me over a drink. Mehul! Call me!!

Of systems and children

2009-07-07T20:17:00.008+05:30

Last year we had a student in first grade called Amanullah. He was bright. Very bright. But he was irregular. He lived with his extended family who stopped sending him to school because they said they couldn't take the responsibility of dropping him, picking him up, checking his work or basically taking ANY interest in his life. We tried really hard to keep him. We went to his house several times and after each visit they would send him back for a few days. A week or so later, it would all repeat itself. At some point, we decided that we did not have the bandwidth or systems in place at that point to ignore other students' needs because we were fighting what we considered a losing battle.

So Aman left the school. He just stopped coming and we stopped calling. Sometimes we would see him in the community when we visited other children's homes. He always smiled and said hello and it was gathered that he had stopped going to school completely.

Well, I was talking to a parent this morning, who do we see standing quietly outside our office in his uniform and with his bag? He must have been standing there for at least five minutes before my admin officer (Dinesh) spotted him and went up to him. He told us that he had been dropped to this school by mistake by someone else and a quick glance at his books revealed that he now attended H.H. Urdu medium school near his house, in first grade. I started the trek with him to drop him to his school. On the way, he told me that he did not like his new school. He said he asked his teacher to teach him English and she said no. He said other kids hit him. He said he wanted to sit with Yash (his old classmate).

When I dropped him to his school, the security guard told me that this was only his second day.

No one had dropped Aman to our school by mistake. He had come on his own. As I left to come back after dropping him, he asked me "didi, are you sure you know the way back?"

He completely broke my heart. And I completely regret letting him go.

The title of this post... because I know that even if we readmit him to our school, his family will not follow the systems we have set in place. We would have to constantly make exceptions for him. Would that be fair? Is one child's future worth compromising a system we have put in place to ensure that many other children are being able to access the kind of support they need at home in order to excel in school?

Pennies for my thoughts

2009-07-02T21:21:00.012+05:30

This is supposed to be a "quiet lunch"

I got my wish of having my very own homeroom... well, at least a week. The first day was so very tiring. It just takes so much time getting used to a full day of teaching and the energy levels that thirty 7-year olds bring . I really struggled with the pacing and with bringing my own sensibility to the culture of the room.

Four days later, I have found my groove. I remember why I love teaching! I love having my own room. I love not really caring about observations and giving feedback and balancing budgets. Or about what kids are doing in other classes. Or which teachers are having issues. I get to focus completely on the one thing that I find the MOST enjoyable. Being with the kids all day long.

These crazzy second graders finally know what my expectations of them are, how much crap I will take, what level of work I expect, how things are organised. Unfortunately, I have to leave them next week and hand over the class to Yash who will be back from his holiday. The kids will have to re-adjust all over again. I HATE to think that the class will be different from what it is right now- with me. Not that it will be bad or anything like that. Just that, it won't be the way I envision a classroom to be.

If I had a penny for every time the thought of quitting my current position and teaching full time passed my mind this week... I'd be a dollar richer today :) If the latter paid just as well, I would perhaps not give it another thought :)

I enjoyed this week a great deal. I am sad to see it come to an end tomorrow.

Everyday is a winding road

2009-06-25T19:23:00.002+05:30

One of my teachers is on break all of next week and guess who will be covering his class?
Its exciting because I get to have my very own homeroom even if its for a week. These are kids who know me well and whom I know very well and we have a comfort level. I get to teach English and math-something I've not done yet. On the other hand, it will be exhausting! I haven't taught 7 hours a day in a long time. This also means, I have to shelve my other principal duties for a short while. I guess this will help me empathise more with my teachers :D

Today was sort of a roller coaster. I started the day an hour early since I was supposed to meet a parent in school at 7:30. I get there on time only to be stood up by her. She had begged us to enroll her son to second grade and now, barely two weeks into school, she wants to take him out and re-admit him to his old school. Why? Because we don't give HW and because he doesn't want to come to this school. I guess that is her right- to do as she wants with her child- but it upset me that she was taking the entire matter so lightly. Choosing a school is no child's play and as I must have said to at least a 100 parents over the past year- "aap mummy ho ki aapka baccha?"
Anyway, I left the decision to her. I then spent the next two hours organising and cleaning our "office" which made me feel a little better and then I had EVS with the second graders. Today's lesson was so good and teaching a good lesson always puts me in a fantastic mood :)
Come afternoon, I had to go visit a student's home because her dad passed away two days ago. The first time that I had to deal with death of a family member was when my grandfather passed away and I was in my twenties. Sabina is seven years old!

As the song says...
Lay back, enjoy the show
Everybody gets high, everybody gets low
These are the days when anything goes

Everyday is a winding road

Hajiali

2009-06-24T00:41:00.006+05:30

Today, we took our second graders to Hajiali. The purpose was to show them that there are certain routines that are followed even by adults in many places that we many not think about. It was a lot of fun- the trip. We piled into five cabs with our raincoats and umbrellas. We had to get there before 9:00 am so that we could get back to shore before high tide set in. We made it JUST in time but not before getting thoroughly splashed with dirty, filthy Arabian sea water (which became a great example to use to teach kids about throwing garbage into the water and/or on the road) and some amount of rain. Most kids had a good time but a few told us later in the debrief that they didn't really like the trip because it was hot (under the plastic raincoats) and because the waves scared them. Fair enough. I, for one had fun. I learnt a little bit about the durgah, which I mistakenly thought was a mosque all this time.

Here are some pictures.
This is me showing them the structure from the front.

One of our chaperones with the two groups who
got there early.

Naheeda demonstrating the routine of wudu to the kids.

Heading back. Do you see that big wave at the back? And Mariya crying? :)

Chains

2009-06-22T22:18:00.004+05:30

Somehow, this second year of school is failing to excite me as much. That scares me a bit.

One reason is the inability to feel a strong connection with the kids. I miss having my own class. I dislike going into someone else's class and not seeing what I like or not having things organised my way. It feels like an intrusion and I feel ineffective.

There are systems in place in my school that I don't believe in myself but am constrained by time, money and other rules. Like the compartmentalization of subjects or my constant struggle to keep teachers focused on learning and not on marks (in light of the fact that we have six exams a year). I wish I could take all my kids on a field trip every week I can't. Or the fact that I can't buy the sports equipment I need because my budget for sports for the entire year is Rs. 1000.

This is real life and there are always constraints. I often wonder though why we keep fooling ourselves by saying that we are providing these kids with an excellent education. Compared to whom? To other BMC school kids? Sure, but if that's the bar, let us not even talk about high expectations. For education to be equitable, more resources need to be poured into our highest needs schools. I am not complaining. We are not a resource- needy school by any standards but our standards are no where near what I consider a TRULY excellent education.

And maybe that's on my head.
And maybe its not.

A melancholic list today

2009-06-22T22:14:00.001+05:30

Monsoon
Red Zen-3624
Annie Lennox
School visit
An old email

Be Kind Rewind

2009-06-14T12:59:00.004+05:30

The best part about watching a movie that you have never heard of is that it usually takes you by surprise.

The Usual Suspects
Identity
Memento

My brother sent me "Be Kind Rewind" starring an A-list cast. This movie is about a neighbourhood video rental store in NJ with the same name as the title of the film. The store is in violation of several city safety regulations and will be torn down to be replaced by a snazzy (read ugly) new building that will bring "a real improvement in the quality of life." Mr. Fletcher (the owner) will of course be relocated "to a property of proportionate fair market value. The projects aren't so bad, you know?" Mr. Fletcher (played convincingly by Danny Glover) has sixty days to either raise the money to repair the video store or move out.

I started the movie expecting a comedy and I did laugh out loud in a few parts but in the end, the issue being dealt with was very real and not at all funny. It was a heart warming movie and not in the sense that some chick-flicks are. I have with me on CD if anyone wants to watch.

la-di-dah

2009-06-04T22:34:00.003+05:30

Haven't written anything for a while. Nothing much to report on I guess. It has been one session after another of either training or being trained. Lonavala, Xaviers, Voltas, Pune. Meetings, discussions, plans, sessions.
Pretty boring stuff.
Oh Yeah! I did go to Sikkim and I haven't posted ANYTHING about that. Memory is already getting hazy about the particulars. Enjoy this one photograph at least (which was lucky enough to finish uploading before my F#@^$ING Internet connection dies on me)

This is the beginning of the trek which is why I still don't look like I am about to die! It was raining continuosly. Once you cross this bridge, you are officially in Kanchendzonga National Park.

No Relief

2009-05-23T21:23:00.005+05:30

From thoughts
From work
From the heat

I have been travelling for two weeks. First, I went to Sikkim, got back, barely had time to breathe and had to leave for Lonavala for a week. Got back yesterday and have spent all of my Saturday preparing for the convention that begins next week. At least its in Mumbai.

Came back from the residential retreat suffering from lack of sleep, rejuvenated from meeting the other ed leaders, excited at finally feeling like I have broken the ice with many more of my colleagues at both offices and wondering about what we do and why we do it. It wasn't as tough for me this year as it was last year but I learnt a few things about myself. Actually, learn is the wrong word- I should say I was reminded.
1. I am far too quick to judge.
2. I can't bear to see people cry.
3. I am much more invested in this organisation than I thought I was (which was a lot to begin with).
4. I am so similar to some of my colleagues, its a bit wierd.
5. The only thing that can hold me back from learning is my own desire to learn.

All said and done, I think the residential retreat is an important week for me and I love being there.

No Fair

2009-05-08T21:45:00.003+05:30

For the past one month, I've been going to the gym as regulary as I can, watching what I eat and in general trying to be healthy. Today I had my gym assessment and not only have I gained one kilo but I have gained 3 inches! How the fuck is that possible! I am so depressed!

This just sux. And I am leaving tomorrow which means now I have to watch what I eat my entire holiday. I don't understand why it is SO difficult to lose weight.

Smile, brother

2009-04-26T15:45:00.004+05:30

As I was surfing for chords to some Hindi music, I came across these lyrics.

You can listen to the song here.

toota toota ek parinda aise toota ki phir jud na paaya
loota loota kisne usko aise loota ki phir ud na paaya
girta hua wo aasman se aakar gira zameen par
khwabo mein phir bhi baadal hi the wo kehta raha magar ke
allah ke bande hasdey allah ke bandey
allah ke bandey hasdey jo bhi ho kal phir ayega

Today's List

2009-04-25T16:22:00.002+05:30

Restless. Confused.
Work.
Mumbai Indians.
My Phone - Sony Ericsson.
Questions.
Facebook.

Dirty Vegas

2009-04-24T22:42:00.006+05:30

My friends are like the air I breathe. I need them around. People who care for me and whom I care for. I feel like I need some proxies in my life.

I need a proxy for Mehul whom I can call up to discuss all my favourite movies, books, TV shows, bands and other forms of popular culture.

I need a proxy for Michelle to whom I can say anything without the slightest fear of being judged.

I need a reliable proxy for Prem who has never ever said no to a night out!!

I need a proxy for Nisha with whom I always have a good time no matter what we are doing.

I need a proxy for Nirav with whom I have spent countless evenings being updated on American sports.

I need a proxy for Manasi who will constantly push me to better myself.

I need a proxy for Ant who is ever ready to play a game and for Aniruddha who makes every board game a war zone.

I need a proxy for the times when there were no formalities, no phone calls, no elaborate setting of plans required to meet up and enjoy your friends' company.

__________
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I could live my life without you
-Dirty Vegas

Deja Vu

2009-04-23T20:59:00.006+05:30

Some things happen over and over again. I wait for them to happen, but then I feel guilty. After being alive for thirty-two years, everything seems like deja vu, like The Matrix- this has all happened before and it will all happen again.

This is my third post tonight. Obvioulsy, I am restless. Too much nervous energy floating around inside me.

Anything can happen in this crazed zone. Maybe I should go practice or write a poem or something.

Three Cups of Tea

2009-04-23T20:18:00.002+05:30

An excerpt from the book:

"After their familiar breakfast of chapattis and cha, Haji Ali led Mortensen up a steep path to a vast open ledge eight hundred feet above the Braldu. The view was exquisite, with the ice giants of the upper Baltoro razored into the blue far above Koephe's gray rock walls. But Mortensen wasn't admiring the scenery. He was appalled to see eighty-two children, seventy-eight boys, and the four girls who had the pluck to join them, kneeling on the frosty ground, in the open. Haji Ali, avoiding Mortensen's eyes, said that the village had no school, and the Pakistani government didn't provide a teacher. A teacher cost the equivalent of one dollar a day, he explained, which was more than the village could afford. So they shared a teacher with the neighboring village of Munjung, and he taught in Korphe three days a week. The rest of the time the children were left alone to practice the lessons he left behind....

...As the last note of the anthem faded, the children sat in a neat circle and began copying their multiplication tables. Most scratched in the dirt with sticks they'd brought for that purpose. The more fortunate, like Jahan, had slate boards they wrote on with sticks dipped in a mixture of mud and water. "

Daniel Vettori...

2009-04-23T19:48:00.002+05:30

... gets my vote for being the cutest player in the entire league!

M(ad)TV

2009-04-17T20:25:00.005+05:30

Probably, most urban youth between the ages of 15 and 35 watch MTV or Channel V. Probably, they switch to a different channel within a second of a commercial break. Probably, this demographic is a prized target for products like an anti-dandruff shampoo or a soft-drink.

Limca and Head & Shoulders have come up with a unique form of advertising as a way to capture the interest of this consumer group - they created music videos that air on various music channels and then part of that video is aired as a commercial on all other channels.

On the one hand, you gotta give it to these folks for their ingenuity. I actually quite like the Limca ad. On the other hand, wasn't brand placement in movies already annoying enough that now I cannot even enjoy what is actually a beautiful song without thinking about an artificially flavouvered, carbonated drink?